This is a tad of an emotional post.
So my dad is selling our house. We've talked about it for a couple of months and it's kind of a tough subject. I've never really moved. I lived in my mom's house as a kid, but my dad's house is my house. I've basically customized that entire basement. Sure my mom's house is there, but after I moved out in 8th grade, she has since redone every room in the house. I didn't really realize how big of an attachment I have to that town home. Once my dad sells the house, I essentially don't have a home anymore. It's one thing to come home to a house that your dad owns, but doesn't live in anymore, but it's another thing to not have a home at all. I still feel like I'm too young for that. I hate sleeping there by myself, and unless Darin comes with me, I stay at my mom's. I told my dad that he could sell it when I was in Georgia, and I was in tears by the end of the whole conversation.
This weekend Darin and I were cleaning out my room. We're taking most of my bedroom furniture to Iowa City and we were cleaning out the storage bins under my bed. I came across a box full of old birthday cards from when I was 7 and then from every year on. There were cards from friends and family. Now, I tend to keep almost every handwritten letter, card, or anything personal that was written and given to me. I've got several boxes that sit on a shelf 364 days out of the year, but I open them once a year or so and look through them, just for laughs or sentimental value. I had forgotten that I had these cards, since they were shoved way under my bed. I was flipping through some birthday cards and there was a card that said "To our daughter.." or something like that, and I opened it up and it said its cute little message and then "Love Mom and Dad." I completely lost it. I think finding those cards, paired with moving things out of my room that will never go back in there, and selling the house that I love just was a bit too much. Sure I'm okay with my parent's divorce and I love the people that they're seeing. My parents are happy! But seeing those cards that I got as a 7 year old me was really bizarre. How was I supposed to know what was to come in the future? I'm tearing up constantly as I write this post.
I don't think I'm ready to grow up this soon. I want to hold on to parts of the past. I want to be a kid again. In a year and a half my world was turned upside down without any kind of warning.
~Until Then