Impact

It's funny. You never realize how big an impact someone has on your life until your sitting 20 feet above them and they don't know that you're there. Later, when your standing right in front of them, you can't even think of words to thank them with because they are simply just that important to you. You try to talk and mumble a few sentences while trying to choke back the tears. But somehow the message gets across and they understand even if no words were conversed. You then realize, that all those years ago, they set you on the path where you are now and where you're going, and you didn't even recognize it at the time. When it does finally hit you, it's either too late to do anything about it or you keep going. I chose to keep going.

~Until Then

After all these years....

I watched it. I finally watched the first Lord of the Rings. It was very good. I watched it with Emily D. and Caitlin M. who had also never seen the LOTR trilogy. Just goes to show that are more of us out there. Well were. More posts to come, hopefully. I feel kind of bad about not posting. But yea, okay.

~Until Then

Acceptance #2

So I'm going to Iowa. Yay!!! I think that their programs have more to offer me in my area of interest. It's going to be more fun than I think I can handle sometimes. I'm glad I'm staying instate. I don't want to drive 12 hours to get to college, and since I'm becoming a teacher, I don't want to spend the next 45 years paying off my loans to some expensive private school. Yea, so some of you may just say 'oh it's Iowa. whatever, that's not impressive.' I'm proud of my self and I'm looking forward to it. Oh, and if I were to receive no financial aid, no grants or scholarships, my 6 years of education (4 for a B.A. and 2 for my masters) will run a grand total of $107,178. Yay expensive!

~Until then

Acceptance!

I got my ISU acceptance letter today. Yes, I know that it isn't the best school, or the most exciting thing, but I'm proud of myself. It's my future, and I want to plan it. It feels good to be holding my future in my hands. ISU is probably going to be my fall back school if I don't make it into Iowa, but I doubt I'll have much problem with that. But it's nice to know that I have somewhere to go after VHS. I'm proud of myself.

Tis the Last Day of Summer

No more days of sleeping in until 1. No more days of lounging in your pj's and eating Doritos and pudding. It's amazing how fast this summer has flown by, it's crazy in a sense. We start school in less than 24 hours, our last year of high school for most of us. One last year of living in our little box, before being pushed into the real world. For most of us, this will be the last year that we ever see, or even talk to each other. It's sad that I'll lose contact with some of my very good friends, but drifting apart is a fact of life. All of you have taught me so much about yourselves, myself, life, society, etc. I'll never forget it. This little community that one by one we've slowly formed has been a part of me for 4 years now; and to see how each of us has developed and coped with becoming an adult. The realization of life. A part of me doesn't want to leave, doesn't want to let go of what I've become so familiar with, but then a small part of me does. It's excited for the next 4-6 years of college, it's excited to meet new people and learn new concepts and ideas, but it's also afraid. Afraid of not being accepted, afraid of not being able to cope, and mostly it's afraid of not being able to fulfill it's goals that it so desperately wants to achieve. But May is a long way off, but it will be here before we know it, and before I watch my friends, and eventually myself walk across the stage to receive that long awaited diploma, I've got one more year to make it count, one more year to be a kid at heart. I've got one more year, and I'm not going to waste it. So here's to us, Thomas, Kyle M, Kyle H, Thane, Jordan, and Amanda, make it count. Don't forget it. I love you guys, and this year is going to be one hell of an adventure.

~Until Then

So here I sit

It's 1 in the morning, and I'm still up much to my own surprise. My computer playing the same soundtrack it has been for the past 4 hours. Background noise more than anything else. I can hear the sounds of crickets humming softly in the background as I feel my eyes going dry from staring at my computer screen forever. The outside air is cool and comfortable, and much more standable than the AC level in the house that my dad will refuse to move to a temperature that is above freezing. I can't believe that school is almost here, just one more year. One more year I have to hold onto my childish memories, one more year to change my mind, one more year to crawl under my blankets and have my dad call me in sick so I don't have to face the real world, one more year to be me without having to worry about what I want to do in life. One more year, and all that could change in the blink of an eye. I feel happy, no regrets or worries, no shames to shy away from, no second thoughts about what I'm going to do.
This is my life, and I'm who I want to be.
~Pichler

Piece by piece

Piece by piece my world seems to be slipping between my fingers. School has been out for a month and I've already managed to completely shatter a relationship with an amazing friend, and shut down the communication barrier with another. My stress level has not settled since, and even though I won't ever see these people at school, it's just that I know I hurt them and I know that I've lost a good friend.
I'm also beginning to lose what I saw in Nick when I first fell in love with him. Yes I loved him, I don't care what any of you say about 'teen love' it can exist. But over the past few months, going far back as January, I'm not sure I feel the same way about him anymore. I've been with him for about 16 months, and we've had some amazing times together. But recently things just haven't had the 'spark' that I'm used to. Yes, I know that relationships can't be exciting all the time, but there should still be that something there that can hold two people together. So I'm not sure how much longer we'll be together. I leave Monday to go to North Carolina with him and his folks for 2 weeks, so hopefully that time together will help us regain what we've lost. I can only hope.
I have a feeling that somewhere within the next 12 months, I'm going to have another big blow out with my mother and not speak to her for a period of time. She
s starting to be forceful again and I feel very uneasy around her. I know that she's my mother and that she tries to steer me in the correct direction, but I just don't feel comfortable around her. My sister is going into 7th grade this year, and I can only hope that will bring us closer together before I leave. She's said that she's going into drama, and I can only hope that she will stick with it. So, I really want us to be closer than we are now, before I leave for 4 years; even though I'm staying instate, I don't want us to be distant.
Amidst the bad there are some good things in my life keeping me sane. I had my senior pictures done on Tuesday and they we're a blast to do. Both Tim Vorland and Dirk were some of the nicest people I've ever met and I can't wait to see the finished products. I believe that they captured the creative side of me and really understood what I wanted from out of my photos.
I've been contacting Elena recently and we've been trying to make plans to meet up and hang out, I miss having her in my life and for the past year things have been rather tense between us, and I will take partial credit for that happening. But I want to regain our once strong bond and make the best out of our senior year.
Erika is moving in with me in August and will be staying with me for the duration of the school year. I'm excited to have someone my own age to talk to and hang out with. It'll be an experience, even if I have to share my bathroom for the first time in 7 years. She's a lovely person and I hope that she can feel at home here at the Pichler house.
A week or so ago, Rocky, my gay cat, ran away. We let him outside, but he always comes home within 24 hours or so. But it was 3 days, and there were no signs of him. But then I heard a meow at our garage door and there he was. Apparently someone had taken him in, because he smelled of smoke. So I washed him and got him a collar, which he's already managed to lose, so I'll get him another one. My family is just glad he knows where home is.
Note to Thespians: the officers met late in June and talked about possible retreats and outings, I'm not saying anything else, but we will get together before the summer is out and I can't wait.
There's 2 months left in summer, and I hope that they got far better than June has.
~Until Then

Let it Begin- Just like a quart of Ice Cream!

So summer has officially started, and so far things have been pretty interesting.
~Erika Dejoungh is in the process of moving in with my family for a year and a half because she doesn't want to move to Ames, and I though that I could be a nice person and give her a home. I mean mines big enough and there's plenty of space.
~ I leave for the Wisconsin Dells next week, my dad decided this last night and we managed to book a house for 4 days up there.
~ We're finishing remodeling our kitchen, I've spent the past 2 days or so waiting for plumbers and ripping up counter tops. It's pretty awesome.
~ I booked my senior portraits with Vorland Photography, and I've been getting very excited over that. It's going to be a fun time and I get to do out doors at Valley Junction and at the Art Center. I finally feel like senior, and after 12 years of waiting it's going to be worth it. I've got a very very easy schedule next year and I can't wait to reap all the benefits of being a senior!! Kudos to Thomas, Jordan, Mary, Andi, Thane, and Kyle, we've made it. Enjoy your senior year, and do what ever the hell you want to, it's out last chance before we leave our homes that we've been so safe in for the past 17 years.

Oh yea, I've watched episodes IV and V of Star Wars.
~Until Then

Being Sick on Your Birthday is No Fun

Okay, so yesterday I went out to eat with my dad, his gremlin looking girlfriend, Nick, and his parents. My dad managed to successfully embarrass the crap out of me with in the first 5 minutes of being at the restaurant. My birthday went pretty well during the dinner, but prior and after that I felt absolutely miserable. I was sick all day and I was running a fever of 101.7 accompanied by a massive head ache. But I got a gas gift card and a girly pamper day at the spa. That made me feel better. Romeo and Juliet is done, but I still haven't found that massive amount of free time I was hoping to acquire. Maybe because it's may, and maybe because everyone else is just wanting to get the Fuck out of high school. Who knows? All I know is that I felt like I was going to collapse if I didn't stop or run into a brick wall.

~Until Then

It's Done!

Thank fucking god Romeo and Juliet is done.

Good Mood

Yesterday I decided that I was going to confront my fears of Mr. Schebel. Him and I didn't get along at all by the end of the semester. He was my EBL and Creative Writing teacher, back to back mind you, and our relationship was a rather rocky one. I know some of you reading this think that he's god, while other would rather keep their distance from him, I was one of those who just down right hated him for existing. I won't go into much detail on why I hated him for the better part of 3 months, and the fact that I was terrified of him, but he attacked my work and my mental stability without even thinking twice. Please spare the long comments on why, how I fucked up and he was just teaching me, there is more to the story than what I want to share. Only he and I know the whole, I haven't event told Nick really anymore that what I'm saying here. Anyways, I went and talked to him originally to thank him for allowing me to speak to his creative writing classes about Closed Caption. After that, he said that he was sorry for the rough time that we've both had with each other. I apologized for some of my actions, not all, just some but mainly for ignoring him and giving him the occasional 'death glare' while passing in the halls. We sat there and talked for about an hour, the first 30 minutes was focused on how things spiraled out of control and what our thoughts were on each other, the last 30 mins. was spent me bitching about the play and other things and just swapping ideas and stories and what not. It was a good deal. In the end, I felt better. I got everything off of my chest, and I can say that the weight was instantly gone. I haven't felt that good about myself in quite some time. The rest of the day was just really whole heartedly good, despite Nick almost burning my house down. I guess I respect him as a person, not a teacher, but as a person. And I can say that we do pass each other in the hall ways with a 'hello' or a smile and a wave. It was a good day.
~Until Then

Laramie Re-opened

I was at the mall last night with a friend and we were just walking around waiting for our movie to start, as we walked towards the food court we saw three guys walking toward us with shirts saying "Erase Hate...". Well immediately this caught my attention thinking they had made their own Laramie Shirts because they were from a different school or they didn't have a chance to get the shirts Valley was selling. As we passed I turned my head back to see what the rest of their shirts said, and their to my complete shock was the rest of the quote with a picture, "Be straight." And a sign with a man and a woman holding hands. Like a bolt of lightning, I felt myself being flushed with anger and became red in the face, as well as my friend. I was shocked that people could be that cruel and rude in our community. I know that people are still angry with Valley for producing Laramie Project and that they still think that homosexuality is wrong, and I accept that; but to be parading it around in plain view of hundreds of other people. Why should they get away with that kind of thing? I was so tempted to go yell at them, but as I started to turn back towards them, my friend grabbed my wrist and said that it wasn't worth the fight. I stopped and I let my adrenaline settle back down and I came to my senses. People like that, who go through life with a closed mind, will never accomplish or amount to anything. They think that they can just say what they want and never be punished for it. I hope that those guys will come to their senses one day, hopefully before they are fathers or husbands. Because if they pass those same values down to their children, right there is another generation already tainted by a closed minded individual. And then it's only time will tell before the incident in Larmaie happens all over again.
~Until Then

PS- In other news, as I was driving I saw a handicapped van, license plate, sticker and all with a bumper sticker that said, "Give Blood, Play Hockey." That made me laugh a bit.

Favorite Noun

This is the photo that I took for my intro class. It's not the final version but it's what I had time to post. My class really liked my photo.

~Until Then

Ahh the wonderful world of cell phones.

It's true, most people now a days can't be spotted in public without their cell phone somewhere on their person. These great tiny devices allow for us, at the push of a single button, to send information and communication to people all over the world via text, image, or sound. As with every piece of technology, there are bound to be glitches or just people misusing it. You have to love the 3 am phone calls from the number you've never heard of, or even better, rare, but better, the text messages from people you've never heard off mistaking your number for a friend of their's. Here's a conversation I took part in today. Complete with mispellsing.

#- Dont send me thosee cheese snakcs anyuore, they're groooss. They give me bad gas.

(I receive this message and ponder for a moment. Normally I would just delete it or send a message back saying wrong number, but I decided to reply otherwise.)

Me- I'm sorry, I thought you really liked them, I didn't realize you were just trying to be nice.
#- Itsokay. You dont haev too get me anything. PS whats with the pickle?

(For those of you who've been so lucky as to get a text from me, I sign my name as 'The Pickle' by default.)

Me- ...?
#- Wait waht the FUCK!! WHO ARE YOU!! Fuck fuck fyck fyck fuck!
#- This convistaion nevar happnd.


I laughed and then proceeded with the rest of my day.
~Until Then

Holy Shitters

This blog is over 3 years old. Wow.
~Until Then

A good use of time

Whenever you have a spare 10 hours, why not spend it dyeing your hair?? It's loads of fun and you get to watch your sink and or tub turn bizzare colors!!

~Until Then

We Call Them Pirates Out Here

Probably the best freakin YouTube video EVER!!!

" Yea sure, I'll break him out jail, I guess, just as long as I get extra credit."

Obsessions- It's amazing to me how quickly then can appear and how quickly they can disappear. And when it finally leaves, you really don't notice that it's gone until someone close to you asks you about it. I look back and realize the large number of obsessions I've had over the years, from hot pockets to converse, being a tom boy to what I want to do in the future. It's astounding how quickly a year goes by and how it shapes you into a different person. I mean in 7th grade all I wanted to do was be one of the guys. I dressed like a guy, wearing my clothes 2 sizes too big and then finally cutting my hair short and. I also wanted to go into automotive and wood construction as my major in college. Now 4 years later I plan to major in theater/ directing and possibly pull a double major in technical theater and a minor in creative writing or speech. I know where I'm going to school after Valley and I know what I want to do with my life. I'm dressing more girlish than ever, not Abercrombie preppy, but I guess as some would put, more appropriate for my figure and activities. I look back and I think how easily all that changed. It wasn't 2 years ago where I was sure I was going to Simpson to major in Music and minor in Education. Where I am in life right now, I'm happy with. I hope that it doesn't change for me. I'm happy and I want to stay that way.

~Until Then

Here's a few photos from the valentines dance. It was fun an the decorations were really sweet. PS- Pie at Perkins at 1:30 am is an experience. You should try it some time. I'm not kidding.

Nick and A Martinin
Best Buds
Pretty
Love Forever

HOLY FREAKING CRAP!! THIS IS AMAZING!!! GO VALLEY!! TWO YEARS IN A ROW BABY!!