I got in to Brenau about 2 weeks ago. I'm not making any decisions until I visit the campus next month. I'm slowly hating Iowa City more and more, and the majority of people around me. I'm not sure if my job and PbR are enough to keep me here. There's so much that's drawing me to Georgia. Last night Darin's mom called and gave a heartbreaking speech about how she wants us to stay close, but understands that there aren't exactly the best opportunities in Iowa. I still haven't even told my grandparents that I applied or toying with the idea of leaving. I have a feeling my grandma is going to disown me when I do tell her. I don't really see any of my WDM friends so that's not what's keeping me here. I have a feeling I'm going to leave, I'm excited and nervous. I told Darin that I'm just going to flip a coin. He told me that's a good idea, because even if it lands on the side that you think you want, you're going to flip again until you land on the side that you actually want.
Over labor day I had to go home and pack up my dad's house. It was hard and I was crying all of Friday night. Our whole house had to be repainted, and I've seen pictures on Iowarealty, but I refuse to go back in the house. My mom is going to go over and get the last of my things. We ended up throwing so many things away, that we just couldn't justify taking with us. Sure some of the things I have in boxes probably won't see daylight again for 10 years, but the fact that I know that it's there somewhere and I can go back to it is more than enough for me. Obviously my dad and I want the house to sell quickly, but for different reasons. His is money, mine is to just get it over with like a band-aid. Espresso is living with Darin and I, and so we'll see how Darin's allergies take to her over the winter once everything is all shut up. Hope to see some of you guys over breaks, hope all is well.
~Until Then
~Until Then
Showing posts with label house. Show all posts
Showing posts with label house. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 29
Sunday, July 12
My Reasons
This is a tad of an emotional post.
So my dad is selling our house. We've talked about it for a couple of months and it's kind of a tough subject. I've never really moved. I lived in my mom's house as a kid, but my dad's house is my house. I've basically customized that entire basement. Sure my mom's house is there, but after I moved out in 8th grade, she has since redone every room in the house. I didn't really realize how big of an attachment I have to that town home. Once my dad sells the house, I essentially don't have a home anymore. It's one thing to come home to a house that your dad owns, but doesn't live in anymore, but it's another thing to not have a home at all. I still feel like I'm too young for that. I hate sleeping there by myself, and unless Darin comes with me, I stay at my mom's. I told my dad that he could sell it when I was in Georgia, and I was in tears by the end of the whole conversation.
This weekend Darin and I were cleaning out my room. We're taking most of my bedroom furniture to Iowa City and we were cleaning out the storage bins under my bed. I came across a box full of old birthday cards from when I was 7 and then from every year on. There were cards from friends and family. Now, I tend to keep almost every handwritten letter, card, or anything personal that was written and given to me. I've got several boxes that sit on a shelf 364 days out of the year, but I open them once a year or so and look through them, just for laughs or sentimental value. I had forgotten that I had these cards, since they were shoved way under my bed. I was flipping through some birthday cards and there was a card that said "To our daughter.." or something like that, and I opened it up and it said its cute little message and then "Love Mom and Dad." I completely lost it. I think finding those cards, paired with moving things out of my room that will never go back in there, and selling the house that I love just was a bit too much. Sure I'm okay with my parent's divorce and I love the people that they're seeing. My parents are happy! But seeing those cards that I got as a 7 year old me was really bizarre. How was I supposed to know what was to come in the future? I'm tearing up constantly as I write this post.
I don't think I'm ready to grow up this soon. I want to hold on to parts of the past. I want to be a kid again. In a year and a half my world was turned upside down without any kind of warning.
~Until Then
So my dad is selling our house. We've talked about it for a couple of months and it's kind of a tough subject. I've never really moved. I lived in my mom's house as a kid, but my dad's house is my house. I've basically customized that entire basement. Sure my mom's house is there, but after I moved out in 8th grade, she has since redone every room in the house. I didn't really realize how big of an attachment I have to that town home. Once my dad sells the house, I essentially don't have a home anymore. It's one thing to come home to a house that your dad owns, but doesn't live in anymore, but it's another thing to not have a home at all. I still feel like I'm too young for that. I hate sleeping there by myself, and unless Darin comes with me, I stay at my mom's. I told my dad that he could sell it when I was in Georgia, and I was in tears by the end of the whole conversation.
This weekend Darin and I were cleaning out my room. We're taking most of my bedroom furniture to Iowa City and we were cleaning out the storage bins under my bed. I came across a box full of old birthday cards from when I was 7 and then from every year on. There were cards from friends and family. Now, I tend to keep almost every handwritten letter, card, or anything personal that was written and given to me. I've got several boxes that sit on a shelf 364 days out of the year, but I open them once a year or so and look through them, just for laughs or sentimental value. I had forgotten that I had these cards, since they were shoved way under my bed. I was flipping through some birthday cards and there was a card that said "To our daughter.." or something like that, and I opened it up and it said its cute little message and then "Love Mom and Dad." I completely lost it. I think finding those cards, paired with moving things out of my room that will never go back in there, and selling the house that I love just was a bit too much. Sure I'm okay with my parent's divorce and I love the people that they're seeing. My parents are happy! But seeing those cards that I got as a 7 year old me was really bizarre. How was I supposed to know what was to come in the future? I'm tearing up constantly as I write this post.
I don't think I'm ready to grow up this soon. I want to hold on to parts of the past. I want to be a kid again. In a year and a half my world was turned upside down without any kind of warning.
~Until Then
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