Jordan's Story

I think they'll take me away to some government building, and then I'll be confronted by a general dude, and he'll be all like "Join the army" and I'll be all like "You join the army." and he'll be like "That's a good idea, maybe I will" and then he'll be all like "If you join the army, I'll be your best friend" and I'll be all like "Nu-uh" and then he'll be all like "Join the army and I'll give you candy" and I'll be all like "Ok!" and he'll be all like "Ok, heres some candy" and then I'll wake up three months later in some cottage in the middle of the woods and then I'll be all like "I thought we were best friends...oh well, I'll just eat some more candy"
yeah that's my story