Wow. Why does everyone hate my fucking guts all of the sudden? I mean yea I am not suicidal anymore. I'm just depressed and its not gonna happen at all. I mean it this time, I swear on my life for which I am lucky to have. I'm sorry to a certain someone to whom of which I have made their life a living hell. I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. It's just that when I get depressed or really overly stressed, I say things that I don't mean. People never get the whole side of what I have to say. I've stoped caring about that, I mean if they don't want to listen to me, than that's fine. This past week has really shown me who my true friends are, and I'm sorry to say, not a whole lot of my "other friends" make the list, I realize that sounds harsh, but you all have been pretty damn harsh to me. I realize you talk behind my back and curse my very existance. I'm not blind, just color blind. One of my teachers pointed out to me something I never would have realized on my own, this paper that I am currently writing for fundies, is a healing process for what I went through in the bloody month of November. I am slowly healing myself, it's just going to take a really long time to complete. I will become the old Pichler again, maybe just a little bit better than that, cause I know most of you hated the old Pichler anyways, but hey who the hell reads this anyways. November was a really shitty month for me and it always will be, no matter what. I can't change that month. I'm am sorry, I know you don't believe me anyways. I really want things to go back to the way they were before all hell broke loose in everyones lives, not just mind. I hope you guys can atleast see that in me.
~Until Then
No comments:
Post a Comment