Sunday, July 12
My Reasons
So my dad is selling our house. We've talked about it for a couple of months and it's kind of a tough subject. I've never really moved. I lived in my mom's house as a kid, but my dad's house is my house. I've basically customized that entire basement. Sure my mom's house is there, but after I moved out in 8th grade, she has since redone every room in the house. I didn't really realize how big of an attachment I have to that town home. Once my dad sells the house, I essentially don't have a home anymore. It's one thing to come home to a house that your dad owns, but doesn't live in anymore, but it's another thing to not have a home at all. I still feel like I'm too young for that. I hate sleeping there by myself, and unless Darin comes with me, I stay at my mom's. I told my dad that he could sell it when I was in Georgia, and I was in tears by the end of the whole conversation.
This weekend Darin and I were cleaning out my room. We're taking most of my bedroom furniture to Iowa City and we were cleaning out the storage bins under my bed. I came across a box full of old birthday cards from when I was 7 and then from every year on. There were cards from friends and family. Now, I tend to keep almost every handwritten letter, card, or anything personal that was written and given to me. I've got several boxes that sit on a shelf 364 days out of the year, but I open them once a year or so and look through them, just for laughs or sentimental value. I had forgotten that I had these cards, since they were shoved way under my bed. I was flipping through some birthday cards and there was a card that said "To our daughter.." or something like that, and I opened it up and it said its cute little message and then "Love Mom and Dad." I completely lost it. I think finding those cards, paired with moving things out of my room that will never go back in there, and selling the house that I love just was a bit too much. Sure I'm okay with my parent's divorce and I love the people that they're seeing. My parents are happy! But seeing those cards that I got as a 7 year old me was really bizarre. How was I supposed to know what was to come in the future? I'm tearing up constantly as I write this post.
I don't think I'm ready to grow up this soon. I want to hold on to parts of the past. I want to be a kid again. In a year and a half my world was turned upside down without any kind of warning.
~Until Then
Tuesday, June 30
My car met it's match.




My dad said even if I was driving a sedan, I still would have been stuck in the mud. At least it happened in Fairfield where there is your friendly neighborhood tractor, and not your West Des Moines $80 dollar fee tow truck.
~Until Then
Sunday, June 28
Isn't it funny when you meet someone you know in a sex shop?
However, I am sad to hear that Billy Mays died. He was a great man, someone to truly aspire to become one day.
PS- I bought a bag that has a cover from a 2005 issue of Rolling Stone Magazine and it was about the same time that Jackson was going to go to trial and there was a sub title about MJ trial and defense strategies. I'm not sure if that makes the bag slightly more awesome or more depressing, but it's not the reason I bought it. In fact I didn't realize it was on there until after I had bought it.
~Until Then
Tuesday, June 23
One Hour of Hell
So on Friday we managed to get the bike started and took off towards the airport. We took the motorcycle with us because we were going to get it looked at and get some work done to it before we left. (The dealer is in Rock Island) About 2 miles from the Mississippi on the Iowa side, Darin pulled over (I was driving the Jeep) and he had me switch his bike off of reserve which would give him about 30 more miles. Plenty of time for us to get the bike to the BMW dealer. We hit the road again and not 2 minutes later he pulls off on the side of the road and the bike has died because it ran out of gas. Darin pushed the bike back up to the nearest on ramp and parked the bike while I turned around and went to go find a gas station. I pulled off on the same exit that he was and went looking. Ten minutes later I found one. I spent 10 dollars buying a gas tank and then spent another 10 minutes trying to figure out how to put it together. While all this is going on, I'm on the phone with my dad, his parents, and the dealership to see if they have a trailer to come get us, and of course this is the one day a week that there is no trailer. Go figure. I get it filled and go find Darin. As I pull up to him, there's a guy in a truck who has pulled over to help us roll start it on the flat ramp (the guy is a BMW owner as well). We get the bike filled and roll started, and finally all is looking well. I get in the Jeep and follow Darin on the ramp. He pulls off again on the side of the road, and waves me own, or so I thought. I drive another 50 feet or so and look back and he's still on the side of the road. I stop the car, get out, and run towards him. He starts running away from the bike back down the on ramp. The man is keeping the bike reved so it won't die on us. Darin has lost his glasses. He wasn't wearing his normal glasses for the bike, and apparently when he turned back to see if there was anyone merging, his glasses flew off his face. So Darin and I are on the side of the road looking for his glasses. He's no use without his glasses, so it's up to me. Darin tells the guy to just leave the bike because we have to get to the airport in 20 minutes. Oh and now it's starting to sprinkle. We keep looking for another 5 minutes or so, and finally decide to call it off. As we cross the road, I run across his glasses! Darin gets back on the bike and we decide to give it one last try. I push the bike down the shoulder and it starts! Great we still have to time to get to the airport! Darin takes off on the bike and I make my way back to the car. Now I wished the story ended here, but it doesn't. Not one minutes after I was back on the road, it starts pouring. A few miles later, I pull off on the exit and start to make my way towards the airport. While I'm driving, I get a call from Darin. He's lost, and I think that he took a wrong turn. I can't really understand him but I tell him to head back to the exit and try again. After I hang up with him, I see him driving past me in the wrong direction. Finally I get to the airport after calling him multiple times to turn around. I go inside and check our bags. The next thing I know, Darin shows up next to me soaking wet. He changes and then I lose him for another 10 minutes because I didn't know what bathroom he went to. We go through security and then ,of course, my purse gets pulled for inspection. We have 10 minutes to catch our flight. I'm in full out tears and frustration right now, and I think "What the hell is in my purse?" Then I remember that I have a pocket knife that I carry on my keys. I go over and fish the keys out of the purse. The guy asks if I just want to mail the whole thing back to me. Fine, whatever. We head to our get with 5 minutes to spare. I then remember that I have my multi tool in my purse as well. Oops. Then when we get to the gate, it starts raining sheets. You can't see five feet out of the windows. There was a rolling cart just past the window and it was gaining a lot of speed and crashed into something. There was an announcement saying that all passengers and personnel should step back from the windows, and the the power goes out. Luckily our plan was only late 30 minutes.
So the rest of my weekend went well, great rafting! I still took all of Monday off.
~Until Then
Thursday, June 4
If you write a typo is that a writo?
This past semester sucked. I didn't enjoy any of my classes, and it took a beating on my GPA. All I can say is that I am glad Valley offered all of those easy college credit classes to counter balance my grades from this semester. This college shit it hard, especially if you know what you want to do, but don't know how to get there.
My first summer class was called "Drama in the Classroom." Sadly it was focused on using drama techniques in the elementary classroom. Over the course of three weeks, we had to teach two demo lessons. The first of the two lessons was a lesson that was already written for an elementary level classroom, and the second lesson we had to create for what ever context we wanted to teach in and it had to relate to a science, math, or social studies subject matter. My lesson that I did to day was about character development. I rocked the lesson! It was the first thing in a long time that really gave me a confidence booster and motivation to continue on with this whole teaching degree thing. Sadly I ended with a god damn B+ because I didn't do review in my first lesson and that brought me down a few points. I hate it when a class is only based off of about 100 or so points.
Next semester I'm applying to the college of education. There's about a 70% chance that I'll get in, and hopefully I'll be able to do my 10 hours of volunteering at Valley. The college of education is like an abyss or a black hole. I don't really know what happens in the college of ed. I'm pretty sure it's full of spys, because they don't like talking to you if you aren't actually in the college.
In May I did my first lessons for scuba diving. That was very challenging, rewarding, and frustrating all at the same time. It's a whole other world underwater, even just in a twelve foot deep pool. It's actually fairly easy to get used to breathing underwater and maneuvering around in the gear. The most dramatic moment was when I left the pool momentarily to go switch out my tank and I came back in and headed underwater. We were given some free time to practice our skills for our open water diver. A lot of the divers were working on hovering in the pool and fine tuning their buoyancy. I look out at the deep end and there are all these strange people in scuba gear just floating in the water. It was very creepy, they all looked dead. Darin and I do our certification dive later this month. I'm so excited.
So I've left Des Moines behind, I've moved to a new city have all new friends. I'm one year older, one year closer to doing what I want to. Is it worth it?
~Until Then
Friday, April 24
Red Without Blue
"I don't think of them as my children, I think of them as young people I know."
~Until Then
Friday, April 3
A quick update
Also, for the past week I've secretly become a surrogate mother to two baby ducks. Purdy (the yellow one) and Percy (the brown one.) They've secretly been living in a bin in Darin's bathroom for the past week. Darin's mother's side of the family is huge (70+ people) and they have a Easter get together every year. Darin's family is in charge of providing entertainment for the great grand kids and they usually go to a farming store and get a handful of baby ducks and chicks for the day. The ducks and chicks then grow up on the farm that his family has. They're pretty much the most adorable things I've ever seen. It's almost like having children, except you can keep them in a box and you give them up after a week (we're taking them down to Fairfield later today.) They swim around in this 5 gallon bucket we have, and last night we let them swim in the bathtub.
Oh this summer, I will be in Iowa City. I think the Des Moines chapter of my life is pretty much done, so it's kind of weird to think about. I've grown up there my whole life, but now most of my friends are gone and my dad doesn't live there anymore. I'm getting an apartment next year, so if you're ever in town and need a place to stay let me know!
Also, plans are in the works of a motorcycle trip in August! Darin and I are going up to Canada and then making our way back down into Michigan to see my neices and then back down to Iowa City.
Hope all is well, and it was great seeing those of you last Thursday. Maybe I'll see you all again for "Grapes of Wrath" next month?
~Until Then
Wednesday, February 18
I Got Stuck
I'm moving off campus next year, I'm really excited about it. It's only 2 blocks away from where I live now, and it's super cheap and also super awesome! I'm moving in with Darin, and I couldn't be happier or more excited for it.
I hate my classes this semester, they're killing me. They're no fun, not even my theatre classes. I feel like they all talk about the same thing. Why can't I just graduate and do the teaching myself. Can you home school college yourself? I don't know.
I'm not sure if I'm going to stick with my improv troupe. I've got a riff with one of the current captains. He's running it poorly but is being a jerk about it. He basically wants people to quit if they don't like how it's run. He want's the best quality show (which is understandable) but not if it drives a division between the group. First semester, there were 7 new people and we were told that all of us would be performing by the end of the semester, and that happened, but it was really shitty. The captains told us that we would be introduced over the course of three shows, because some of us were more stage ready than others. Well the first two people were introduced into a show right before Thanksgiving break, fine and dandy. Well now it's time to get more people in, but oh wait- the captains fucked up and one of the shows that they were going to bring people in was actually a special show where my group only got 30 minutes of stage time, so they didn't bring any new people in. So they ended up throwing the other five of us into the last show before winter break, and it was terrible.
Now we've come to this semester, and rehearsals are really shitty, but our one captain won't get his act together and unify the group. Our troupe is already exclusive because we hold auditions, but now with this whole "quality" issue, we're being divided into two other groups. I no longer have fun doing improv, and I hate going to rehearsals. I've become completely self conscious again, and I hate that. I feel like I'm being judged constantly, and that I (and a few other members) are secretly trying to be persuaded to quit. Fuck this.
So yea, All State is this weekend, and I'll see you all there if you're going.
~Until Then
Monday, January 12
Three words- Counter weight system!
It's now been a week since I started the job, and I absolutely love it. My boss is like a way younger (but nearly as sarcastic) Mr. Borstad who swears just as much. I'm the youngest one on the crew, but that doesn't bother me. Everyone just seems to click and works well, as well as goofing around once and a while. Everyone just looks like a techie, acts like a techie, talks like a techie, etc, it's awesome! I don't work nights or weekends, unless I'm doing board op for one of the shows. Not only do I work in the theatre department, but I also work in the dance studio, and the occasional operas. Unfortuneatley, due to a large amount of water this summer, Voxman and Hancher are still inoperable, so the operas have been moved about througout the rest of campus or downtown Iowa City.
I still can't believe that I have this job, and probably won't believe it until I get my first pay check. I've got a job doing something that I love and am good at. I get paid to be techie and show up in grungy jeans and a sweatshirt. No one cares what you look like, there is no dress code, or formalities; just show up and do the work, and don't be a jerk about it. I can pick when I work and for how long I work as well.
I loved what I did at Valley, even though I would bitch about it a lot, I really enjoyed it. The concerts, plays, meetings, or whatever else needed technical assistance really fascinated me. The auditorium at Valley will always have a place in my heart, I know every knook and cranny of the place and didn't mind spending hour after hour there doing stuff. Now I'm here and I've got a whole new place to fall in love with. I've gone from one theatre to four theatres, Space Place- dance theatre in North Hall, Mabie theatre, Thayer theatre, and Theatre "B"- all in the Theatre Building. Each theatre is completely different in set up, and each has it's own system of complex cats and grid systems. I now have four booths to call home and chill out in. Also, these performing arts divisions have money. That means no more "A" frame ladders, we now have Genies for each space. No more "just grab what lights we do have", now it's "put the 50 extra lights up in the gallery", or "get 15 36 degree Source 4's and 23 26 degree Strands". We've got lights that cost 10 grand and gobos and gels like you wouldn't believe. Every show has a lighting designer, which means every show has a lighting plot which has to be put together in a specific order. We've got Master Electricians and a crew of 10+ people, not 3. I've got a black box theatre, 2 thrust stages- with one of them being a beautiful main stage with a huge show (4x the size of Valley's), and a proscenium stage with a beautiful dancer's floor. There's prop storage like you wouldn't believe, and it's all organized! The two things that I like most about this job, is A) we don't have to scramble for lights, headsets, boxes, or cabels and B) the counter weight system in Mabie with a 52' fly space. I've never worked with a fly space or a counter weight system. No more having to spend twenty minutes cranking down the electrics and 40 to crank it back up. No more having to get the entire BD and BDT together just to hoist the scrim back up to the batons. It takes one person, just one person. No more fraying ropes and impossibly heavy curtains. It's incredible!
I really do love my job and I'm so fortunate that I found it so soon. No more kitchens for me or depressing off campus jobs. I do what I love and what I'm good at. It's incredible.
~Until Then
PS- Who's going to be at Parent's Night on Friday?
Tuesday, November 25
Announcing the Engagement of Bruce Pichler and Robyn Hans
October 17, 2009 will be the date of Bruce and Robyn's wedding in northern Georgia. The two of them have been together since October of 2007 and are happily in love with one another. Between them they have 7 children, but none of them will be living at home come next fall.
I can't believe that my dad is getting married! It's weird for me. Your parents are supposed to get married before you're born (in most cases.) I'm going to have a step mom whom I absolutely adore with two incredible step sisters to hang out with when I'm in Georgia. He told me last night, and was really nervous about my reaction. I flipped out! I told him I was wondering if it was going to happen and that I was really excited for him. He proposed to her up in Canada last month, after a few glasses of wine and a beautiful sunset. He just has to tell Alicia, but he's not sure how she's going to take, she'll probably be told when the two of us come back down here for Christmas.
Robyn is the best thing that has ever happened to him. He loves her with all of his heart, and I've never seen him happier. She's kicked his butt into shape and they enjoy going hiking, scuba diving, kayaking, rafting, and biking together all throughout the southern United States. I couldn't be happier for the two of them, I can't wait!
~Until Then
Monday, November 10
It takes me back
The skits were cute, not thought provoking at all. There were some skits that were similar to the show that I did for Silent Majority. Chaotic Classroom, Tug oh' War, and a few others that I can't really recall off the top of my head. It was weird being back at Indian Hills at 9 am on a Saturday morning. I miss those days, what a blast. I was so proud of her when she was done, I really hope that she sticks with theatre and finds her own place.
~Until Then
Saturday, November 8
Back in WDM, but it no longer feels like home.
I'm going to post on my SISTER's mime show later. I'm so proud of her.
~Until Then
Thursday, November 6
I am not an Actress.
I do not care to think about the subtext, I am an improver. I don't enjoy searching for hidden motivation, I am a mime. I don't like having a secret objective, I am an improver. I don't enjoy being organic on stage, I am a mime. I am not an actress. I am out of the ordinary, I am physically expressive, not mentally expressive. I do not search for a deeper meaning, or think of the "what if's", I just do. I don't think about it. I act and speak without thinking. Thinking gives time for reaction for the audience. I don't want that. I am an improver and a mime. I am a physical presence, I am here to be seen and heard. I am not an actress. I never wanted or want to be an actress. I am a performer. I live in the now, not the past, not thinking about the future. Now. I am not an actress.
I perform. I am an improver. I am a mime. I am not an actress.
~Until Then
Sunday, November 2
It's 6 months till I turn 19!
For the first time in a long time, I'm genuinely happy. No, I wasn't depressed or anything like that; I just didn't realize how happy I could be until this past week happened. I'm positive that this is where I'm supposed to be, and this what I should be doing. I can't really write anything, I don't know how to explain it anymore.
See you all Saturday, I'm so excited to meet up with everyone. :)
~Until Then
Tuesday, October 28
I should really invest in a helmet
Sunday night I was at PBR practice and we were playing 185, but they call it 186 for some weird reason (Sorry Joe and Darin, I've always done it as 185) and I was jumping out to say something. The place in which we practice has tile floor, and before PBR got to practice, there was another group down there and somehow they had gotten parts of the floor wet. Well, so I jumped out onto the balls of my feet and the next thing I knew I was on my back and had smashed my head into the ground. I think this was worst head smash by far. It all happened in a split second, and when I sat up I saw blue stars. I also recently dyed my hair blue, I wonder if there was a correlation between my hair color and the color of the stars. Luckily, it was nearing the end of practice, so I just sat down at watched the last few minutes of 185 and worlds worst after everyone was doing asking if I was okay.
After practice, I noticed that my vision was going in and out of focus, so my friends walked me to the hospital and had my checked out by a doctor just in case. After about an hour of sitting, my vision became clear again and I was examined by the doctor. He told me that I was just going to have a very large goose egg, and some nasty headaches to deal with the next day, and to come back only if things got worse.
So two of the members from PBR take me home and stay with me until I fall asleep. The next day is filled with splitting agonizing headaches, but overall I'm fine. I stayed home Monday and Tuesday except for my last class today. My friend Darin stayed with me most of Monday to make sure I didn't injure myself further. Which needless to say, I managed to bang my head at least 2 or 3 more times. I'm still sore, and my neck is tense, but I think I'll pull through. I really think that I should get a helmet, or switch to a business major....NO! See you all in 2 weeks!
~Until Then
Wednesday, October 22
I officially feel like a college kid
So I've...
Slowly become a night owl, and hating myself for having an 8:30 class five days a week
Stayed up talking with another person for three hours about absolutely nothing
Found a drama family
Gone on a road trip with nothing but my toothbrush
Had cold pizza for breakfast for more than 3 days
Questioned the milk, then drank it anyways
Walked to my dorm barefoot
Taken a nap on Pentacrest
Skipped class to sleep in
Hung out and people watched
Gone to a bar concert
Hit up 4 or more coffee houses in one day
Taken multiple naps per day
Crammed onto the bus system with about 100 other people
Gotten lost on the West side of campus
Cursed under my breath while walking into the wind because it's so f'ing cold
~Until Then
Sunday, October 19
I feel all grungy, I love it!
It's hard to believe that I found a home here at Iowa City. I'm going to be working with these awesome people for the next 4 years. Just hanging out with them and playing I've never, truth and dare, and just talking was a blast. As much as I love these guys, I love showering and my own bed with no one else in a 5 foot diameter of me a little more.
~Until Then
Sunday, October 12
Look out
Indianola: 2 near death experiences in 3 hours
#1 I went down to Indianola to see my grandparents. My mother asked if I would drive since her car was full of equipment. On my way down, I was driving on 65/69 and I was about 40 or so feet behind a truck hauling farm materials. We go to drive up a hill when the something flies out of the back of the truck. It's a giant metal bin and lands in front of my about 20 feet away. There's a car behind me and a motorcycle to the left of me. I have no choice to swerve. Luckily I managed to keep control of my jeep and not hit anyone, but not even on ice have I ever swerved that badly before.
#2 We were pulling out of gas station in Indianola, and I stopped my car at the drive entrance and got out of my car because I saw that I had left my gas cap off. I get back in my car and proceed to pull out. Out of nowhere comes this girl on a bike and I hit her with the front bumper of my car. Not hard enough to knock her over, but strong enough to maker her stop and restart her bike ride. I freaked out and got out of my car and yelled if she was okay, but she kept on biking away. It was a good thing I was only just starting to move, it could have been so much worse. But what can I do if she didn't stop?
I don't want to go back to Iowa City.
~Until Then
Friday, October 10
Video Post??
Wow, I look away alot. Hmmm. Sweet. Maybe next time I'll do something creative.
~Until Then
Monday, October 6
An experiment
My performances were this weekend, and it went well. I played a production manager for a film. It was the first time I really felt connected to my character, and because of that, I was able to really devote myself to my character. My family came up, it was nice to see them all. The weekend went by in a flurry, but I enjoyed it. Now I have all this down time. That's why I love theatre. You work and work to no end for a week, and then as soon as the production is done, you have all this awesome free time and don't know what to do with it. I audition next week for the castings of the spring shows. I won't have any other performances this semester unless I get cast in a community theatre show, so I can devote myself to my improv troupe.
On a more personal note, I am single for the first time in 2 1/2 years. Nick came up this weekend and we had a mutual agreement that it wasn't working out. My priorities have been reshuffled and he's not on top of the stack. He realized that maybe we were going to same destination, but how we each got there was very different. We're still friends, legitimately. I care about him, but I care more about him being happy.
I bought myself an iPod touch today. I'm very excited to have it. It's sort of a pick me up, congrats on doing a show, and doing well in college present type thing. It's all shiny. I'm coming back this weekend, so if you're in town, give me a buzz.
~Until then