Habits and Destructive Forces

I felt like I needed to write. I don't have much else to do. I wake up early because I want to keep my habit. I feel more productive in the morning. Sure people aren't up, but it's far more comfortable in the morning. Sure it sucks in the evening when people want to do stuff and it's 10:00 pm and I want to go to bed, but that's going to help me later in life when we all have to live in the real world. I'm not saying I get up at the crack of dawn, but I'm usually up between 7 and 9:30. I'm going to take an 8 am class next year if I can just so it will force me to not stay out late and get mixed in with the wrong crowd. Then I'll be done early afternoon! It's weird the little habits that we all develop. How we go about doing things, and the ways that we do them.
Well now to change directions. My summer thus far. I've decided that I'm going to get out and do stuff this summer, random stuff, just as long as I'm outside or at least being productive. I hate being a vegetable laying on my bed and eating cool ranch doritios. I've had about 15 days of summer and so far I've managed to do...

• Buy a BB gun and become fairly accurate in my shooting abilities.
  
• Play multiple games of Crotchet and Super Crotchet, one ended in with the entire Crotchet set in the tree.
• Had a picnic by the Sailor ville dam and attempted to throw a boomerang.
• Found out that all the fireworks in my boyfriends car are a dud from being in his trunk through the winter.
• Lit off several of the dud fireworks.
• Planning to tube down the Boone river and eventually Canoe it as well.
• I leave for Georgia in a week to go rafting, jet skiing, hiking, kayaking, and camping. And I plan to see my dad for more than 10 seconds.
• Had bonding time with my sister.
• Saved 4 baby bunnies from certain death by rescuing them from my gay cat.
• Built and launched a rocket successfully, only to have it run over by a car because the wind carried it too high.
  

I'm proud to say that there hasn't been one day where I've just been lying around, I've either done something or worked. I'm also in progress of cleaning out old clothes and tackling all of the areas where my junk just piles up. I've got the clothes down, now I just need to hit my closets. Hope the Chicago trip was fun for those who went, sorry I missed it.
~Until Then

So I'm officially an alumni!

So we graduated. Yup. How weird is that? I can't believe that I actually made all the way through the West Des Moines School District. 13 years of education under my belt, which will supposedly help me out at Iowa next year. Looking back on it all, it's hard to say that it wasn't a good time. I've met so many people who will remain close to me, even if they aren't physically next to me any more. Teacher's who have impacted my life in ways that they don't even realize. Memories that I can look back and laugh about, and some that bring tears to my eyes (in a good way.) I felt that in these last few years, I've become more open to myself and true to who I am as a human being. Sure others may not like it or me all the time for that matter, but why lie to yourself. I figure, those who truly accept me as a friend will show it, why trying to form relationships with people who I can't stand. I'm done being 'real' to others. I'm never going to see 90% of the people I graduated with ever again. Now that remaining 10% translates into 60 people if you actually put it in perspective. Even that's pushing it. Maybe 5% of the entire 2008 graduates will I actually see over this summer (hopefully) if time allows. I've moved out of the biggest step in my life this far. I've got a diploma, and it feels weird. I just know, that I've got 89 days until I start my first day of class at Iowa. That really doesn't feel all that long.
College. The main reason I'm looking forward to college, is not parties and no parents and little rules, no I'm looking forward to the fact that everyone there has already experienced high school. They know what works, and what doesn't work. (Well most of the them, the people that I'm going to hang out with any ways.) They know how to act, and what to do when called upon. I'm excited. I'm living in the performing arts community. That way I know that my roommate and I will have something in common at least. Sure, I may not be going any where impressive, but I'm still excited to move on with my education towards my education career. I don't know what lies ahead in 89 days, but I can't wait.
My roommate has moved out and the house feels at peace. It's nice to be able to say lets go back to my house and know for a fact that know one is there moping around.
Almost all the high school festivities have come to an end. I've had my grad party and it was a blast. I don't care about the gifts or the money that I received, but what I truly cared about was what people wrote. I have all my cards in a box and they're coming with me next year, so in a time of down-ness, I can read them and look back on the memories that I may have pushed to the back of my mind. I plan to come back home about once a month. Not only for Nick, but to see my friends who are still in high school. I want to keep building those relationships, and come and support them in their drama activities, just as all the alumni did for us. I hope that I will see you at some of those performances.
I also plan to keep updating this. I know that we'll all be hundred of miles apart (except Thane who will be just across campus.) but I think that we've formed a little bonding community here, and I want to keep it up. See how long we all keep writing, see how we all grow over the next 4 years. Sure we won't be able to fully understand all the stuff in the posts that we write, but still. We'll have this to look on and feel just that much more closer to the person who's writing it. So I promise to keep writing. I hope the rest of you do as well.
Well that's my post graduation post, I'm ready to move on.

~Until Then

A week later and...

I guess I still don't feel like an adult yet. It's probably due to the fact that I'm still stuck in High School (40 hours and counting.) I've done adult things such as smoking a cigar and I got something permanently drawn on my body, but I still have to get up every morning wait for my room mate, drive to school and be there from 7:15 til 1:42 pm. Haven't gotten any new privileges, but I think in time those will come. I have played the I'm an adult card, and I've also played the I'm still an adult but too poor to afford things card as well. It sorta works, for now anyways. My parents finally decided to stop giving me hand me down lap tops and are getting my an Mac Book for my super late birthday present. I won't get it until to July, but it doesn't matter. Being a senior is really expensive, and I don't like it.
On the other hand there is a light at the end of the tunnel, not only do we graduate in about 2 weeks, but even more exciting is the fact the my room mate will no longer be living here as of May 21st! She's going back to her mom's where she can be moody and stay locked up in her room and be gone for what seems like days on end without anyone ever seeing her. She will be out of my hair and there will be a party in her honor of absence!
I can't wait to be done with high school, it's so boring now but I've miraculously managed to maintain rather good grades this year. Well that's it. My first post as an adult.
~Until Then

Finally

I've help a out a lot longer then most of my senior friends, but it finally hit me 2nd hour on Wednesday how much I want to be done. I've got no motivation left at all. I honestly didn't think it would take this long.

The Subconscious

So it's always amazing to me what my mind can come up with when I'm dreaming. I've yet to have one of those lucid dreams I've heard about, but I enjoy my own dreams none the less. I had a dream last night, that I was luckily able to remember all of the details to. This dream struck me on an emotional level. It's a dream so it's not going to make complete sense now that I'm awake, but at the time it did.
Nuclear Fallout-
To start off my sister has foreseen the future. There is news of a comet heading right towards earth and we are unable to stop it. It will hit when we are all in school (they would hopefully cancel school on the day that the world is supposed to end I would hope, but anyways) as far as my sister can tell there are only four survivors, myself, Justin Bopp, Casey Cottington, and Mark Rustin. I tell these people that we are the only survivors and that we must stick together. I end up finding Mark first and we get into a class room with the other students and wait. I can see people outside the school laying on the grass, some and running around in the field playing catch. The class room is packed and people are starting to cry. It's hot and breathing gets harder. We count down to the moment of impact. From here my mind takes me to a side scene where a teacher is asked to go take care off something and after she does that, she releases a gas in a side room somewhere and commits suicide. Also in the start of the dream, I have visions of other places (such as bunkers, and other governmental places preparing for impact, but they're safe because of the structure of their building.) Back to present time, we're waiting for the moment of impact, I grab Mark's hand and lean in close. The sky goes dark and then all of a sudden a blinding hot white light fills the area and then it's all over. Now normally, most people in a fallout situation would die instantly, but their demise was different in this dream. How people died was not instantaneous, but rather over the course of an hour or so their brain function would slowly drop. They can recognize faces and names to an extent, but beyond that it's very limited. Eventually they die. I did not see anyone actually die in this dream, I don't think I could have handled that. After the explosion, they started serving lunch, but you had to go outside to get it. People were leaving to go eat, but they had to walk outside, so not only did they become contaminated even more, but the food the ate was also contaminated. Others around me and getting out their cell phones but no connection can be made. I want to call my parents, my sister, my boyfriend, my loved ones who aren't with me, but I can't.
From here I wander around school with Justin. People are in corners just sitting, but at this point no one seems affected by the fallout, but they will. I find Ms. Hansen and tell her what I huge impact she has been on my life while trying not to cry. As I wander, I'm trying to find people like myself who weren't contaminated and by now the others are starting to get affected. They move slower, speak slower, and their brain function has dropped immensely. Now I'm desperate to get to people like myself. I run into Borstad. Affected. Sam. Affected. Kyle. Affected. It's awful. I tell them all that I love them, but the can barely recognize who I am. Tears are streaming down my face as I run into the auditorium. For the first time to me, it no longer feels like home. On the stage I see the Justin, Mark, and Casey. I run up to them. I tell them we should go to the booth but the ladder has been destroyed. I look back and then I wake up.
To me it's amazing how real and raw the emotions all felt. It was happening around me and I couldn't stop. The people that I loved and cared about so much, were wasting away around me. Thank god it was only a dream.
~Until Then

I need sleep.

I've just woken from a 4.5 hour nap and I'm still exhausted. This play is killing me, and I don't even do much now that tech is over. I feel sorry for some of the leads.

~Until Then

At last, at long last.

I'm sure that you've read Jordan's and Thomas' on their final wrap up on their careers as a Valley mime, but here's one more. A different point of view I would like to ad. For three years (that's six shows in mime talk) I've been graced to be a part of the Baker's Dozen Mime Tech Crew, not only just a part of it, but the Sound Director. This post is not going to be full of emotions, those all calmed down sometime the Friday or Saturday after the show. I wasn't kidnapped and thrown into the back of a car, mine was less eventful. I was in the tech shop just cleaning away when Liz Bloomburg came in and told me to show up on Monday at 3:00. I did, I was totally lost. There were all these rowdy looking people sitting there talking about Pirates and how much paint we were going to need to get and also to see what we could dig up in the dungeon (pre-borstad cleaning it out era). Now I'm down in the dungeon hanging from rafters looking for something that could possible resemble a pirate wheel. All of them were seniors except for some people that I sorta knew at the time, Emily Dengle, Caitlin Ho, and then there was myself. I didn't know any of these people. Then later that day, Steve-o shows up and grabs Emily and myself and starts talking to us about looping tapes in the green room. We're both sitting there, only having met in freshman IHSSA group mime. Then she's called away by Cam. Great. Flash forward one week. I'm up in the lighting booth for the first time with a headset strapped to my head, a giant board in front of me filled with all sorts of dials and switches listening to Cam say 'Go Sound' and Henderson telling me to shut the hell up and stop singing. Before I know it, my first mime show is over. I really wanted to move from the booth to being on stage. So I tried out and didn't make it. And I'm glad. I love my job and what I get to experience for four short weeks out of the year. I get to hang out with the some of the goofiest fucking people I know and help produce a show that hundreds of people are going to see and be screaming for. I've found two of the people that I shall forever remain close to. Had someone told me that I would love these people and do anything for them my sophomore year, I would have thought they were lying. Turns out they were right. These guys (mimes and techies) became my first family. I would do anything for them. Three years flew by fast. After the seniors left, the rest of my friends became in charge like I was. We were all think 'WTF! How are we going to do this. We don't know what the hell we're doing.' But somehow, we came together and did it. We ran four shows together and worked hard to give the mimes a set and a great show to go with it. I'm sitting 60 feet away from the stage watching my friends grow up these past three years. Talking to Emily and Kyle of the headsets and watching skit after skit unfold before my eyes. I may not be the one that is wearing the white makeup and running around in slippers and tights, but I'm a part of it none the less. Coming together for those few short weeks, means more to me than anything else in the world. I'm glad it's all done, I know that we're leaving it all in good hands. When I graduate, I'm leaving more than just brick on the wall, I'm leaving a part of me behind.

...Go sound...

~Until Then

Mime Show

"Now the seats are all empty, let the roadies take the stage. Pack it up and tear it down. They're the first to come and last to leave working for that minimum wage. They'll set it up in another town."

~Jackson Browne

I did not have the time or energy to write a post like Thomas did; but I will. But until then.

Unmotivated

So it comes down to the final quarter I will ever spend in high school. I've now become completely unmotivated to do any of my homework that is passed due. For instance, I've got 2 assignments in APC averaged out both are worth 65 points, but yet I do not do them, even though Hardin has given me more than a reasonable extension on one (try well over a month now with spring break done) and the other 2 weeks. I've calculated my grades out and I will get a D for the semester if I don't do them. But even that still can't bring me to do them. Fuck it. My grades are (not counting Gym) 5 A's and a D for the quarter if things carry out correctly, and last semester I was 5 A's and a B. Not bad for a senior, granted I am taking nothing but Art and Writing classes, but none the less. The only thing that is possibly motivating me is the fact that this is a college credit class, but if I pull a B or C off next quarter than I'll be set with 24 credits that are all A's one B and one C. That will still give me a GPA for Iowa of 3.63. Not bad.
Spring Break is a wonderful thing and a terrible thing as a senior. It's nice to relax, sleep in, and catch up with friends, but it's a week where your brain doesn't have to function. My brain doesn't like to function on things that it doesn't have to. So this last quarter I think that I'm going to be diagnosed with a full blown case of Senioritis. Great, just what I need. We're 63 days away from Commencement (that's with weekends) and 42 school days left. That's not a lot of time when you think about it. I only have to bull shit stuff for 210 more hours of my education. I think I can do that. Man, I'm motivated to write this, but I still won't do my APC homework.
~Until Then

IHSSA Love

Few know that mimes are known to have sweet dance skills.










I feel like we should be walking into the sunset. Montage anyone?


Last minute crappy improv.






I wish all my imaginary friends were real.













^I love this photo.
<---Hard work paid off.
Heroine anyone?

Four Organs In Each Jar!

So it's officially Spring Break. I'm looking forward to this one. I've taken off work and have no commitments what so ever that I oppose to as of right now. I'm going to enjoy this spring break and catch up on some very late APC homework. The play is halfway through, and for some reason, I just don't feel as connected to this one. It might have something to do with not getting an actual part, but I know that because of that I get to spend more time on tech where my time can be better spent. That set is going to be sweet, and I can't wait till those mornings where I have to be there at 8am on Saturday and get covered in paint and saw dust. It's so much fun.
I see that Jordan and Thomas are posting a lot about the mime show. It's coming up so fast that I don't really want to deal with it at some points. It's funny, every show when the mimes and the techies dress up, there are so many people that ask me if I'm a mime. It's usually the same people every show, and I gently remind them that I am a techie. I know that there are some days that the mimes want to absolutley kill us, and we become so bitchy because we don't have the cooperation we need from them. But when it comes down to it, we both rely on each other. This is my 6th and last mime show, and I've come to realize that that is the best family I've ever been in. Sure I don't go to the Sunday night meetings, or I don't have the ties that our stage manager has with the mimes, but I still feel apart of it all. Is that so wrong? I spend 2 weeks twice a year with these people, and work my ass off for them. I love it. The biggest gift that you guys have ever given me was not only my job, but last fall show when you actually waited for the people in the booth to make it onto the stage. That was a great feeling for actually getting recognition for doing stuff behind the scenes even if it didn't flow as well as we all hoped. Well that's my bit for the mime show. 7:30 March 27. Valley. Be there, or I will have my pet porcupine rape you in the face.

~Until Then

IHSSA-4 years of Mime and Improv

Okay so 2008 IHSSA has offically ended. It's been an experience to say the least. It was nice to be in the same two catergories for 3 consecutive years. I've gotten the hang of it, and really refine my skills as an improver and a solo mime. Dare I say that I've become known as the Valley Solo Mime? I don't know. But I've enjoyed being one. I get such a rush when I become a different charater and I can't rely on my voice. I've learned how my body works under pressure and how to control my movements to make an impression. I only count on myself, and so therefore I get all the attention. It's not 'we did it' or 'we made it', it's 'I did it. I made it' Cocky? Yes maybe. But totally worth all the hard work. I'm proud of myself and where I've gone in drama.

So what the hell was up with this year? Good lord, the three varsity mimes got there asses kicked. What's the hell? The districts judge this year, has been a judge at the state level the past two years, who has given me a nomination for All State. I just don't get it. It was heartbreaking to see that two on the list. Yes, I cried. I'm devoted to what I do. I love it. No more chances at winning the banner, no more mime rehearsals, no more walking out of the room all sweaty and full of energy after performing to intense music. Nothing. It took me a while to get over that. I was determined to make Claussen proud. He has been amazing to work with these past 2 years. I'll miss him.

But then Lauren, the underdog of all the mimes, some how, some way, managed to defy all odds and make her up the ladder of IHSSA and land herself a spot at All State. Working with her these past 4 months has been a blessing and a gift. She started out with no mime skills, nothing at all. But we rehearsed and practiced and challenged her skills, and look where she landed! I could not be more proud of her. After the critics at All State had nothing but wonderful things to say to her, that truly topped the cake. After she finished her skit, I was crying. I was so happy for her. All throughout contest, I believe that I was far more nervous than she was. I was talking with Mary about what it's like to be a coach. It's one thing to stand up there and perform some one elses skit, and then take the comments and critisms that come along with it. But it's a whole other world to take someone and give them your skit, that you wrote, that you developed and watch them perform your ideas. After they perform it, you get feedback. There's nothing that you can do about it. You have to sit there patiently and watch as you are critiqued through another person. You can't do anything about it. When they are performing your skit, you can't walk up there and fix their mistakes, you have to sit and endure it. I can't wait to be a coach and a full time educator.
I may not have ever won a banner, but being able to take a skill that I've developed and pass it on to someone else and have them do just as well as you could have done, I think I may have a knack for this teaching thing. I hope I keep it.
Improv. Wow, what an impact. It's been an adventure, and I'm glad that I've endured it. Having the same partner 2 years in a row, and making it to the top both times. Two girls out of 80 teams to make to All State twice. We've learned how to communicate without words. We can work off of each other, and we found our place in the improv scene. Serious. It's a first really, to do a chain of serious natured scenes. I'm proud to call Joanna my partner, we work so excellently together.
I've been asked what's been my favorite All State. That's tough. They all mean something different to me. Sophomore year, my first festival, two events. What an experience. Truly amazing, and to have 2 more years to do this. Junior year, top of my game. Favorite solo mime ever, had the best scene for improv ever that year at state and went to All State for it. Senior year, working with my seasoned improv partner for the second year, and also having my directed solo mime make it to All State. If I had to pick between Lauren and myself to go on, I'd pick her in an instant. I've been to All State before, she hasn't. She's more important.
To my team mates-
You've been amazing to work with and watch over the past 4 years. Thank you guys so much. You rock my world. Keep up the good work and I don't want to lose touch with you guys.
Lastly to my coaches
Ted- You started me off and taught me the joy of Solo Mime. Encouraged me to explore outside of my comfort zone.
Claussen- Our time was cut short this year, but that happens. You helped me develop my true passion for theatre and mime. You pushed me to limits of physical endurance and mental capacity. Thank you. I've learned how to move and control my body and communicate without words. Given me two excellent and demanding characters to develop and give a personality. Thank you.
Joe- You've been more than just a coach to me, you've been a mentor as well. The lessons that you've taught me will continue to stay with me over the course of my life. You've shown me the bar, then raised it, and then raised it again. You've taught me to trust my instincts and to go against the grain in the same evening. You've encouraged and helped me from day one all the way to now. I started out at a 1 and with your help, I've managed to take it to a ten. Thank you for everything that you've ever done for me.
IHSSA is done, it's been a journey, a truly wonderful journey.
~Until Then

Senior year thus far

This is not my peak year, that was last year. I was at the top of my game then, and having fun with everything. Not so much this year, everything gets in the way of everything else. School is a miserable nightmare. Frequently I find myself frustrated with not only my classes and several of my teachers, but myself as well. I know that I could really push my performance, but I don't want. I just want to hit my deadlines and finish my work, get the grade, and move on with the next project. That's how I work, I need to be busy, I need to be active. But I also need to have time to complete these projects, and I'm finding that this year, there just isn't any. Schedules are becoming packed, people are unavailable, things are going the way they should.
Although I guess I appreciate how this year is a transition year. My dad is gone every other 2 weeks for two weeks to go work down in Georgia for another doctor who wants to quasi retire. He loves it down there. There are so many more opportunities for him to expand what he does. Recently he also acquired a new girlfriend, who is actually normal. I know right? Stop the presses!!! She seems really nice from what I've heard, and she's actually normal looking in the photos I've looked at, plus my dad seems to have this certain uplifting. I'm really happy for my dad, but at the same time I wish he was home. If it weren't for Erika, the house would be so empty.
Living with Erika has been an experience so far, I love the girl to death, but I'm not exactly fond of her boyfriend. He's a hassle. Neither of them have a car, so I often have to pick/drop off one or the other and run some errands for them. Plus she's a night owl and I'm an early bird, so we often don't see each other during breaks. Oh well, the good out ways the bad. We've gotten ourselves into a mess of trouble over our piercings and outings.
As for my personal life, I guess it's been better and it's been worse. Yes Nick is still in town, but he works 40 hours a week and goes to Ankeny DMACC. I don't get to see him as often, but I'll get to see him even less when he's off at ISU and I'm at Iowa. He's become really irked at my activities this year, he's always saying that I'm putting the ahead of him and that I should drop several of them to accommodate more time for him. Also, I find myself more often than I should looking at him and thinking 'Am I really going to be able to spend the rest of my life with you?'. We'll see where this goes later.
First semester is over, and my GPA is still intact. I'm glad that it's over. My group of friends is once again shifting all over the place. My best friend is no longer in school with me, and I all I want to do is get out.

~Until Then

Impact

It's funny. You never realize how big an impact someone has on your life until your sitting 20 feet above them and they don't know that you're there. Later, when your standing right in front of them, you can't even think of words to thank them with because they are simply just that important to you. You try to talk and mumble a few sentences while trying to choke back the tears. But somehow the message gets across and they understand even if no words were conversed. You then realize, that all those years ago, they set you on the path where you are now and where you're going, and you didn't even recognize it at the time. When it does finally hit you, it's either too late to do anything about it or you keep going. I chose to keep going.

~Until Then

After all these years....

I watched it. I finally watched the first Lord of the Rings. It was very good. I watched it with Emily D. and Caitlin M. who had also never seen the LOTR trilogy. Just goes to show that are more of us out there. Well were. More posts to come, hopefully. I feel kind of bad about not posting. But yea, okay.

~Until Then

Acceptance #2

So I'm going to Iowa. Yay!!! I think that their programs have more to offer me in my area of interest. It's going to be more fun than I think I can handle sometimes. I'm glad I'm staying instate. I don't want to drive 12 hours to get to college, and since I'm becoming a teacher, I don't want to spend the next 45 years paying off my loans to some expensive private school. Yea, so some of you may just say 'oh it's Iowa. whatever, that's not impressive.' I'm proud of my self and I'm looking forward to it. Oh, and if I were to receive no financial aid, no grants or scholarships, my 6 years of education (4 for a B.A. and 2 for my masters) will run a grand total of $107,178. Yay expensive!

~Until then

Acceptance!

I got my ISU acceptance letter today. Yes, I know that it isn't the best school, or the most exciting thing, but I'm proud of myself. It's my future, and I want to plan it. It feels good to be holding my future in my hands. ISU is probably going to be my fall back school if I don't make it into Iowa, but I doubt I'll have much problem with that. But it's nice to know that I have somewhere to go after VHS. I'm proud of myself.

Tis the Last Day of Summer

No more days of sleeping in until 1. No more days of lounging in your pj's and eating Doritos and pudding. It's amazing how fast this summer has flown by, it's crazy in a sense. We start school in less than 24 hours, our last year of high school for most of us. One last year of living in our little box, before being pushed into the real world. For most of us, this will be the last year that we ever see, or even talk to each other. It's sad that I'll lose contact with some of my very good friends, but drifting apart is a fact of life. All of you have taught me so much about yourselves, myself, life, society, etc. I'll never forget it. This little community that one by one we've slowly formed has been a part of me for 4 years now; and to see how each of us has developed and coped with becoming an adult. The realization of life. A part of me doesn't want to leave, doesn't want to let go of what I've become so familiar with, but then a small part of me does. It's excited for the next 4-6 years of college, it's excited to meet new people and learn new concepts and ideas, but it's also afraid. Afraid of not being accepted, afraid of not being able to cope, and mostly it's afraid of not being able to fulfill it's goals that it so desperately wants to achieve. But May is a long way off, but it will be here before we know it, and before I watch my friends, and eventually myself walk across the stage to receive that long awaited diploma, I've got one more year to make it count, one more year to be a kid at heart. I've got one more year, and I'm not going to waste it. So here's to us, Thomas, Kyle M, Kyle H, Thane, Jordan, and Amanda, make it count. Don't forget it. I love you guys, and this year is going to be one hell of an adventure.

~Until Then

So here I sit

It's 1 in the morning, and I'm still up much to my own surprise. My computer playing the same soundtrack it has been for the past 4 hours. Background noise more than anything else. I can hear the sounds of crickets humming softly in the background as I feel my eyes going dry from staring at my computer screen forever. The outside air is cool and comfortable, and much more standable than the AC level in the house that my dad will refuse to move to a temperature that is above freezing. I can't believe that school is almost here, just one more year. One more year I have to hold onto my childish memories, one more year to change my mind, one more year to crawl under my blankets and have my dad call me in sick so I don't have to face the real world, one more year to be me without having to worry about what I want to do in life. One more year, and all that could change in the blink of an eye. I feel happy, no regrets or worries, no shames to shy away from, no second thoughts about what I'm going to do.
This is my life, and I'm who I want to be.
~Pichler

Piece by piece

Piece by piece my world seems to be slipping between my fingers. School has been out for a month and I've already managed to completely shatter a relationship with an amazing friend, and shut down the communication barrier with another. My stress level has not settled since, and even though I won't ever see these people at school, it's just that I know I hurt them and I know that I've lost a good friend.
I'm also beginning to lose what I saw in Nick when I first fell in love with him. Yes I loved him, I don't care what any of you say about 'teen love' it can exist. But over the past few months, going far back as January, I'm not sure I feel the same way about him anymore. I've been with him for about 16 months, and we've had some amazing times together. But recently things just haven't had the 'spark' that I'm used to. Yes, I know that relationships can't be exciting all the time, but there should still be that something there that can hold two people together. So I'm not sure how much longer we'll be together. I leave Monday to go to North Carolina with him and his folks for 2 weeks, so hopefully that time together will help us regain what we've lost. I can only hope.
I have a feeling that somewhere within the next 12 months, I'm going to have another big blow out with my mother and not speak to her for a period of time. She
s starting to be forceful again and I feel very uneasy around her. I know that she's my mother and that she tries to steer me in the correct direction, but I just don't feel comfortable around her. My sister is going into 7th grade this year, and I can only hope that will bring us closer together before I leave. She's said that she's going into drama, and I can only hope that she will stick with it. So, I really want us to be closer than we are now, before I leave for 4 years; even though I'm staying instate, I don't want us to be distant.
Amidst the bad there are some good things in my life keeping me sane. I had my senior pictures done on Tuesday and they we're a blast to do. Both Tim Vorland and Dirk were some of the nicest people I've ever met and I can't wait to see the finished products. I believe that they captured the creative side of me and really understood what I wanted from out of my photos.
I've been contacting Elena recently and we've been trying to make plans to meet up and hang out, I miss having her in my life and for the past year things have been rather tense between us, and I will take partial credit for that happening. But I want to regain our once strong bond and make the best out of our senior year.
Erika is moving in with me in August and will be staying with me for the duration of the school year. I'm excited to have someone my own age to talk to and hang out with. It'll be an experience, even if I have to share my bathroom for the first time in 7 years. She's a lovely person and I hope that she can feel at home here at the Pichler house.
A week or so ago, Rocky, my gay cat, ran away. We let him outside, but he always comes home within 24 hours or so. But it was 3 days, and there were no signs of him. But then I heard a meow at our garage door and there he was. Apparently someone had taken him in, because he smelled of smoke. So I washed him and got him a collar, which he's already managed to lose, so I'll get him another one. My family is just glad he knows where home is.
Note to Thespians: the officers met late in June and talked about possible retreats and outings, I'm not saying anything else, but we will get together before the summer is out and I can't wait.
There's 2 months left in summer, and I hope that they got far better than June has.
~Until Then

Let it Begin- Just like a quart of Ice Cream!

So summer has officially started, and so far things have been pretty interesting.
~Erika Dejoungh is in the process of moving in with my family for a year and a half because she doesn't want to move to Ames, and I though that I could be a nice person and give her a home. I mean mines big enough and there's plenty of space.
~ I leave for the Wisconsin Dells next week, my dad decided this last night and we managed to book a house for 4 days up there.
~ We're finishing remodeling our kitchen, I've spent the past 2 days or so waiting for plumbers and ripping up counter tops. It's pretty awesome.
~ I booked my senior portraits with Vorland Photography, and I've been getting very excited over that. It's going to be a fun time and I get to do out doors at Valley Junction and at the Art Center. I finally feel like senior, and after 12 years of waiting it's going to be worth it. I've got a very very easy schedule next year and I can't wait to reap all the benefits of being a senior!! Kudos to Thomas, Jordan, Mary, Andi, Thane, and Kyle, we've made it. Enjoy your senior year, and do what ever the hell you want to, it's out last chance before we leave our homes that we've been so safe in for the past 17 years.

Oh yea, I've watched episodes IV and V of Star Wars.
~Until Then

Being Sick on Your Birthday is No Fun

Okay, so yesterday I went out to eat with my dad, his gremlin looking girlfriend, Nick, and his parents. My dad managed to successfully embarrass the crap out of me with in the first 5 minutes of being at the restaurant. My birthday went pretty well during the dinner, but prior and after that I felt absolutely miserable. I was sick all day and I was running a fever of 101.7 accompanied by a massive head ache. But I got a gas gift card and a girly pamper day at the spa. That made me feel better. Romeo and Juliet is done, but I still haven't found that massive amount of free time I was hoping to acquire. Maybe because it's may, and maybe because everyone else is just wanting to get the Fuck out of high school. Who knows? All I know is that I felt like I was going to collapse if I didn't stop or run into a brick wall.

~Until Then

It's Done!

Thank fucking god Romeo and Juliet is done.

Good Mood

Yesterday I decided that I was going to confront my fears of Mr. Schebel. Him and I didn't get along at all by the end of the semester. He was my EBL and Creative Writing teacher, back to back mind you, and our relationship was a rather rocky one. I know some of you reading this think that he's god, while other would rather keep their distance from him, I was one of those who just down right hated him for existing. I won't go into much detail on why I hated him for the better part of 3 months, and the fact that I was terrified of him, but he attacked my work and my mental stability without even thinking twice. Please spare the long comments on why, how I fucked up and he was just teaching me, there is more to the story than what I want to share. Only he and I know the whole, I haven't event told Nick really anymore that what I'm saying here. Anyways, I went and talked to him originally to thank him for allowing me to speak to his creative writing classes about Closed Caption. After that, he said that he was sorry for the rough time that we've both had with each other. I apologized for some of my actions, not all, just some but mainly for ignoring him and giving him the occasional 'death glare' while passing in the halls. We sat there and talked for about an hour, the first 30 minutes was focused on how things spiraled out of control and what our thoughts were on each other, the last 30 mins. was spent me bitching about the play and other things and just swapping ideas and stories and what not. It was a good deal. In the end, I felt better. I got everything off of my chest, and I can say that the weight was instantly gone. I haven't felt that good about myself in quite some time. The rest of the day was just really whole heartedly good, despite Nick almost burning my house down. I guess I respect him as a person, not a teacher, but as a person. And I can say that we do pass each other in the hall ways with a 'hello' or a smile and a wave. It was a good day.
~Until Then

Laramie Re-opened

I was at the mall last night with a friend and we were just walking around waiting for our movie to start, as we walked towards the food court we saw three guys walking toward us with shirts saying "Erase Hate...". Well immediately this caught my attention thinking they had made their own Laramie Shirts because they were from a different school or they didn't have a chance to get the shirts Valley was selling. As we passed I turned my head back to see what the rest of their shirts said, and their to my complete shock was the rest of the quote with a picture, "Be straight." And a sign with a man and a woman holding hands. Like a bolt of lightning, I felt myself being flushed with anger and became red in the face, as well as my friend. I was shocked that people could be that cruel and rude in our community. I know that people are still angry with Valley for producing Laramie Project and that they still think that homosexuality is wrong, and I accept that; but to be parading it around in plain view of hundreds of other people. Why should they get away with that kind of thing? I was so tempted to go yell at them, but as I started to turn back towards them, my friend grabbed my wrist and said that it wasn't worth the fight. I stopped and I let my adrenaline settle back down and I came to my senses. People like that, who go through life with a closed mind, will never accomplish or amount to anything. They think that they can just say what they want and never be punished for it. I hope that those guys will come to their senses one day, hopefully before they are fathers or husbands. Because if they pass those same values down to their children, right there is another generation already tainted by a closed minded individual. And then it's only time will tell before the incident in Larmaie happens all over again.
~Until Then

PS- In other news, as I was driving I saw a handicapped van, license plate, sticker and all with a bumper sticker that said, "Give Blood, Play Hockey." That made me laugh a bit.

Favorite Noun

This is the photo that I took for my intro class. It's not the final version but it's what I had time to post. My class really liked my photo.

~Until Then

Ahh the wonderful world of cell phones.

It's true, most people now a days can't be spotted in public without their cell phone somewhere on their person. These great tiny devices allow for us, at the push of a single button, to send information and communication to people all over the world via text, image, or sound. As with every piece of technology, there are bound to be glitches or just people misusing it. You have to love the 3 am phone calls from the number you've never heard of, or even better, rare, but better, the text messages from people you've never heard off mistaking your number for a friend of their's. Here's a conversation I took part in today. Complete with mispellsing.

#- Dont send me thosee cheese snakcs anyuore, they're groooss. They give me bad gas.

(I receive this message and ponder for a moment. Normally I would just delete it or send a message back saying wrong number, but I decided to reply otherwise.)

Me- I'm sorry, I thought you really liked them, I didn't realize you were just trying to be nice.
#- Itsokay. You dont haev too get me anything. PS whats with the pickle?

(For those of you who've been so lucky as to get a text from me, I sign my name as 'The Pickle' by default.)

Me- ...?
#- Wait waht the FUCK!! WHO ARE YOU!! Fuck fuck fyck fyck fuck!
#- This convistaion nevar happnd.


I laughed and then proceeded with the rest of my day.
~Until Then

Holy Shitters

This blog is over 3 years old. Wow.
~Until Then

A good use of time

Whenever you have a spare 10 hours, why not spend it dyeing your hair?? It's loads of fun and you get to watch your sink and or tub turn bizzare colors!!

~Until Then

We Call Them Pirates Out Here

Probably the best freakin YouTube video EVER!!!

" Yea sure, I'll break him out jail, I guess, just as long as I get extra credit."

Obsessions- It's amazing to me how quickly then can appear and how quickly they can disappear. And when it finally leaves, you really don't notice that it's gone until someone close to you asks you about it. I look back and realize the large number of obsessions I've had over the years, from hot pockets to converse, being a tom boy to what I want to do in the future. It's astounding how quickly a year goes by and how it shapes you into a different person. I mean in 7th grade all I wanted to do was be one of the guys. I dressed like a guy, wearing my clothes 2 sizes too big and then finally cutting my hair short and. I also wanted to go into automotive and wood construction as my major in college. Now 4 years later I plan to major in theater/ directing and possibly pull a double major in technical theater and a minor in creative writing or speech. I know where I'm going to school after Valley and I know what I want to do with my life. I'm dressing more girlish than ever, not Abercrombie preppy, but I guess as some would put, more appropriate for my figure and activities. I look back and I think how easily all that changed. It wasn't 2 years ago where I was sure I was going to Simpson to major in Music and minor in Education. Where I am in life right now, I'm happy with. I hope that it doesn't change for me. I'm happy and I want to stay that way.

~Until Then

Here's a few photos from the valentines dance. It was fun an the decorations were really sweet. PS- Pie at Perkins at 1:30 am is an experience. You should try it some time. I'm not kidding.

Nick and A Martinin
Best Buds
Pretty
Love Forever

HOLY FREAKING CRAP!! THIS IS AMAZING!!! GO VALLEY!! TWO YEARS IN A ROW BABY!!

Okay so I haven't posted in well over a month. Deal with it. Nothing much has happened that was blog worthy. Christmas, great. Thanksgiving, sucked balls. New Years, who knows. I guess this is my 'fuck it' post. Who cares? You didn't write it, and you don't have to keep reading it. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Whine. Whine. Whine. So 2006? Hell of a lot better than 2005 that's for sure. 2007? Who knows. 365 more glorious days to screw myself over in various situations and then somehow manage to wiggle my way out of it with only minor scars, hopefully. So I here I sit, the middle of my junior year with a threatened GPA, cold toes, and a glass full of eggnog. Yea I look back on 2006 with some pretty damn fond memories of what happened. Did some sweet things, met some cool people, did things that I probably shouldn't have. Do I regret it? Not one fucking bit. I chose to do the things that I did, and I don't hold any deep dark twinges in my heart/soul. Wouldn't trade any of it. If you're reading this to find out some deep dark secret, tough luck. But I bet if you dug deep enough in the halls of Valley, you could probably find what you're looking for. It's not that hard, I mean is practically graffitid all over the auditorium. Something happens to people, and they flip. Holy shit, it's the end of the world. There goes their reputation right down the fucking drain, right? Wrong. There's life after high school, believe it or not. Yea I was in the whole 'rep down the drain' boat about 10 months ago, but then I found people who didn't care what I did, said, thought, etc. That helped, a lot. Hmm, maybe that's why I'm neck deep in a 10 month relationship with the best thing that's ever happened to me. Who knows? Screw what I've done, said, thought, etc. I don't care, judge me. I mean how many people actually see beyond the purple hair and high tops? I'll never know. 'It's the real thing that keeps me hanging on.' I'd be surprised if you're still reading this, congrats. Bitch Bitch, Whine Whine.
~Until Then

I truly despise the holiday of Thanksgiving. I have my own reasons, not to ruin anyone else's. I don't think I'll enjoy Thanksgiving, until I have a family of my own. Hooray for not spending Thanksgiving with my family.
~Until Then

Okay so last night was my first real practice for solo mime and improv. I thought I had signed up for solo mime and improv, but apparently I signed up for 3 hours of aerobics an physical training. I'm not kidding, I had a slight sweat when I left both of my events. Gross, yea. But Mr. Clausen is working me to no end. If you look on the drama board, it says "Pichler- Pirate Mime". That's all I'm going to say about it until parents night. It's really amazing, and I've got most of it worked out so far. Just have to tackle the hard stuff next week. Improv was pretty much amazing last night. When I first saw my name on the list, I was disappointed. I really wanted to be in Choral Reading or Musical Theater, but as the day wore on I was pumped for the rehearsal. Last night there were 6 of us, plus 2 directors. The freshmen actually work really hard, and they were really good last night for their first time for IHSSA. I've also noticed, that within those two hours, how I hard I was working on my technique and form. Yea, we didn't do any skit work, but our group activities and character walks really helped. I'm looking forward to this year. Can anyone say All State??
~Until Then

It's done with....Finally!!!
I'm not going to do a whole big post on the Laramie Project, I'm worn out and I'm neck deep in a massive writing assignment. So here are the top 10 things I've learned/experienced by being a part of The Laramie Project
1. It's a lot of work to do a mowhawk
2. It's a lot of work to do a 4th show
3. Some guy recognized me as Buzzard Fishbeck...akward
4. I'm losing my hair...slowly
5. WBC is very unimpressive
6. Parents should never be on Tech...they ruin my words
7. Hauling all of your own costume pieces to school, means you have to haul them all back.
8. Freshmen.
9. Hearing the sound of a full house applause is orgasmic
10. Tech has its benifits
~Until Then

*NOTE: This is one of those life realization posts so yea, okay.
On Tuesday, I went to go pick up my sister from 6th grade. I walked in about 5 minutes before the bell rang, so I sat down on a bench and just sorta looked around at what was familiar and what wasn't in that school. A few minutes later, a group of 1st graders came walking down the hall from Art Class. These small children wandering down the hall behind their teacher carrying their pencil boxes and sketchbooks. They're so small. I can't believe that at one point, we were that small as well. It's bizzare. And to think from that a 1st grader's point, they still have 11 years before they graduate. We have 1. One year! Where did our childhood go? What happened to nap time and staying out of the sweets jar before dinner? Where did they go? It just seems to me that this time has passed us by so fast, we're never going to get it back. Then yesterday I went on a college visit to ISU with Nick. The campus is gorgeous! We got a tour of some of the main halls and then went into one of the residence halls and had a pretty yummy lunch. When we got to ISU, we watched a Power Point about why you should come to ISU and all the benifits and acceptance things there are at ISU. I was blown away. I had always thought that I would never want to go to a State school, simply because they were too large. I didn't want to feel like a number. So I had my heart set on Simpson. More expensive = less crowded. But that power point pretty much convinced me that I wanted to go to ISU and what they had to offer me, was more than anything I could ever hope for in a University. I talked with two teachers there on campus, one in music and one in theater. From about 8th grade, I've always wanted to do something in music, but not major in it. Well music eduaction is only a major, but the lady told me that out of the 900+ students invloved in the music programs, only about 130 were music majors/minors. My passion for music will never die, but I need to persue my love of theater. Before I left the Music Hall, I listened to the State's Men's Choir. It was fantastic!! I've never heard a sound like that! And a guy that I was talking to before class, was a history major. It was very cool. After I left the hall I headed to Pearson Hall to talk with Jane Cox about theater. She then pretty much convinced me that I was definantly coming to ISU. The theater program there is fantastic. They do 9 shows a year and they have a family so you don't feel like a number there. Yay!! And they have exactlly the major I want with a few empahsis in Directing, Acting, and Technical Theater. Then a minor in Performing Arts. This is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Help others discover the joys of theater. Two years ago, I was sitting there as a freshmen thinking, "Pssht, I've got 4 years left of High School." Now I'm thinking "Man this is what I want to do with my life. This is who I wan't to be. Here's how I make that happen." So whether you're carring a penical box and crayons, 1000 Page text books and binders, or persuing your Major, it's all the same thing. Make the most of what you have, reach for your dreams, and don't let and moment be meaningless.
~Until Then

This is a real word in the German language, you can even ask Frau Marasco. It has something to do with the occupation of a widow's late husband.
Donaudampfschifffahrtselektrizitatenhauptbetriebswerk-bauunterbeamtengesellschaft.

Lesson Plan
Twelve plus years we spend in school
Only to fall asleep in our texts books
And wake up in a puddle of our own drool.
“Open you books to chapter ten.”
And read through this material
Just so that we can forget it all over again.
“Your homework is to take notes over twenty-two.”
Then write a 70 page paper
On how salt reacts with glue.
But somehow they always seem to forget to mention
That if we don’t turn it in,
We should prepare ourselves for five hours of detention.
As weeks grow by our minds get weary
Staying up until dawn
To study for the killer test in Theory.
Slowly you seem to crash and burn
People seem to notice
But of course there is no where safe to turn.
Thoughts of terror run through your head
Wouldn’t the world be better
If one morning you turned up dead?
Your parents stopped giving you kisses and hugs
So now you must begin
To rely on alcohol and drugs.
One day your teacher wishes to see you ‘after class’
“Oh great”, you think
“God I hate this teacher, he’s such an ass.”
“Something is wrong, what can I do?”
You stand there glaring and thinking
“Shut the hell up, I’ve got no dealings with you.”
But instead you smile say
“It’s just stress, that’s all.”
And then continue on your way.
You reach deep inside and pull out a smile somehow
Your teacher seems satisfied
But perhaps just for now.
You walk a bit drudgingly slow
Far from behind you hear
“I’m always here for you, you know.”
Thinking now how you hate him so
And in the single instant
Hatred in your heart begins to grow.

Home is where the heart is, or so they say
If that saying is true
Then why do you push everyone there, away?
Finally you just can’t seem to take it anymore
So one night you take a rope
And hang it high above the family room floor.
You slip it on and tighten the noose
Breathing very fast
Praying that it doesn’t come loose.
Your heart begins to beat unbearably fast
You stand on a chair
Hoping that the pain doesn’t last.
But as you do so you glance to your right
To notice the family portrait
Sitting so peacefully in the fluorescent light.
Thinking of all the people you’ll hurt
You loosen the rope
And wipe your tears on your shirt.
You sleep hard that evening
And head off to school that next morning
You’re glad to see that for you, there is no grieving.
All through the day you’re undeniably joyful
With friends all around you seem to find
That you’re no longer depressed or doubtful
While sitting in down in period five
You look around you
Thankful to be alive
Once again after class your teacher pulls you aside
Before he says anything
He notices that you’ve already cried.
“Is there anything you must say or do?”
You’ve got one thing to say
“Thank you.”
~Pichler

My best friend in the whole entire world has broken up with her boyfriend of almost 11 months. I love her dearly, but sometimes I really do question her judgement and actions. But then again we as a society do that to everyone whether we want to acknowledge that or not. Alex is a friend dear to my heart, but I don't know what he's going to do. He loved her. I mean he really loved her like no one else before. It's hard to explain, but I think my friend just was never in love with him as he was her. Yes I do know more than what I'm saying, but I'm not saying anything else. No I didn't know that she was going to do this. It came as a complete shock to me when I heard it from Alex. I love them both, but this is rather strange and in a way my heart was broken as well.
~Until Then

Finally, what most of us have been waiting for.

I quit my job at Panera last night. I was so fed up with doing dishes, all the time. Everytime I would walk into work, I wouldn't even have to check the assignment sheet to see where I was scheduled. If there was a gigantic pile of dishes and trays in the back, then I new that I was on dishes, as normal. I was starting to get fed up with Panera. The entire summer I probably averaged 3 days a week at Panera. Out of the summer, I was on cash reg. 4 times. You do the math, that's an ass load of dishes.The last 3 times I went into Panera were unbearable. I teared up the 1st time when I saw I was on dishes, I was just mildly frusterated, the 2nd time I came in I actually shed a few tears because I was angry, the final time I walked into Panera as an associate, I broke down and became red in the face. After doing a trash run, I sat down outside and cryed for 10 minutes. Not becuase I was sad, because I was overly frusterated and mad at my Boss. I then called my dad and asked if I could resign from my job. He said that I had his approval. I then preceeded to tell my manager. I coudl barely expalin to him why I wanted to quit without crying. He told me why I was never on cash reg. It's because somehow my drawer was always off by a few cents the 4 times I worked cash reg. That furiated me! Why can't you tell me that?!?!?! Then just have me focus a little bit more on what I'm doing. He gave me a paper and then I wrote down why I wanted to quit. "While working for Panera, I have always seemed to find self in Back of House doing the multitude of dishes. People who have worked here longer than me have said themselves that they have never done dishes. When I began working for Panera, they said that they were an Equal Oppourtunity employeer. What I've experienced while working for Panera definantly was not equal oppourunity. If I was doing something wrong while working up front, I would have like to have known about it, not just be shut into the back, sent there only to clean up the mess that you've created. That's not how a company should function."
~Until Then

Geschwindigkeitsbeschrankung- German for Speed Limit
~Until Then

Summer Stats!
I've...
..dyed my hair 14 times
..spent 16 hours flying
..spent 57.2 hours road tripping
..consumed 71 bowls of cereal
..spent 25 days on vacation
..purchased 4 new pairs of shoes
..put 2,314 miles on the jeep
..spent 4 hours lost in the woods
..been sick for 17 days combined
..washed 946 dishes at Panera
~Until then

So it's come down to the last say of summer...
..that's kind of hard to believe. I mean about 96 or so days ago we were just finishing up our last day of sophomore fun, (yea right). We're all going to be juniors next year, and for me it looks to be the hardest year ever. This is where is counts. We pretty much have to start getting on the track of what we want to do with the rest of our lives!! We all rigth now might have some idea that we've been tossing around in our heads, but it's time to start finalizing all of the minor details. I'm looking forward to school, I really am. I love being busy with all of the drama activities. Able to wander back into the auditorium (which is still a cancer threat). I love filling my time with things like that. It's who I am. No, I don't know what next year holds for me, but I do know that I'm going to make the most of it. Doesn't that make sense? I mean I watch those people who have like 4 classes and just breeze through the day! How can one do that? I mean why not accept the free education that we have now and make the most of it, as where in 2 years we/our parents will have to chuck out an arm and a leg just so we can make a future for our selves. That's just stupid for people to pass up so many amazing chances for them to discover what they love. I just don't understand people some times. On a slightly different school note, my boyfriend Nick for those of you who know him, he's going tobe a senior. My best friend Elena is in the same boat with McDevitt. All of us find it rather weird that it's their last year at school. I mean you never really think that you'll make it that far. Think about it in 2nd grade, we still had 10 years of school left. 10 years!! That's a a really long time when you're like 8 or 7. It's weird to think about. I know that when he goes off to college next year, I'll still be able to see him and everything, but I won't be able to see him around school during the day. But it's his last year, I want to make everything perfect for him. Just so he look back and say that he had one hell of an amazing senior year. That's why this summer we hung out a lot. I knew that once next summer hits, it'll be a different story. Another reason why I loved this summer better than any other summer. It went by faster but not too fast. But it's almost over with and we've got less than 24 hours to get all of our summer plans done.
~Until Then

My friends really need to stop invading my dreams
Last night, or early this morning, whatever you prefer, I had a multitude of dreams. It started out as a nice day where I was headed to the beach with Elena and Theresa. Not too bad, they're some of my good friends so what the hell why not?? Well anyways we were just chilling when this rather large and rather ugly girl comes up to me and we start to exchange insults. Things then progressivly worse from there. Enter Mary, Thomas, Drew, Kyle M., Jordan, and Thane. All of whom are wearing some rather thick teal green coat that goes down to their knees. They were talking to some one who looked rather important, while this chick named El and I began to fight. They dissapeared. Well what dream wouldn't be complete with out a secret lair?? I some how ended uyp in this large dome shaped room and I was now on a mission, all though I can't remember what happened. I next found out what the 6 of my friends were doing. They had signed up to ride underwater in this large blue nylon thing that looks like one of those childrens play tubes, although about 200 ft long. There was a second shorter are protruding from the right to let air out but not let water back in. They were off and they sunk lower into the water. Well somehow I ended up in the tube next to the mean girl who was also on the journey. I broke her nose in some sort of a slow-mo fight scene. She called me a bitch and so forth. Jordan and Thomas showed up and Thomas began to lecture us on how the color purple doesn't really exist and that we should all stop using our opposable thumbs. (somehow those 2 subject went together) Jordan was just standing there and mimed what Thomas would talk about. Needless to say, it didn't work too well. *Pichler wakes up due to annoying beeping from phone and reads text message* Dream part 2. I am no longer at the beach or in the blue tube, I am now on a giant board of Risk. Ever play the game? Neither had I until yesterday when Nick made me play it. Well if you haven't played it, the objective is simple, invade other countries while protecting your own, and try to gain the most. Normally one plays with small plastic soilders but of course my friends and I had replaced these playing pieces with ourselves. Mary, Thomas, Jordan, Thane, Kyle M., Drew, Amanda, Elena, Theresa, Nick, McDevitt, Big Kyle, Marti and Myself, were now on this giant Risk board in the middle of Downtown Chicago near a subway station. After the 1st roll of the die, all hell breaks loose! Thomas, Nick, and Big Kyle start to duke it out over Russia. Elena and Theresa wrestle of Australia. Drew, Thane, and McDevitt fight to the death in Brazil. Mary, Jordan, Kyle M., and Amanda are blowing the brains out of eachother down in South Africa. But Marti and I just stand on Alaska watching everything, people are loosing limbs and sanity. I roll the die again, but this time everything stops, and once again in slow-mo everyone watched as both die bounce down into the hobo-infested subway/sewer system of Chicago. Everyone stares around in horror. We can't play on with out the die. So we split up into 2 teams. Nick, McDevitt, Marti, Amanda, Thane, Thomas, and Jordan on one team. Elena, Mary, Big Kyle, Kyle M, Drew, Theresa, and Myself on another. Jordan whips out an old school style beat box and breaks it down. We all then head down ths stairs after the die. My team hears the beat box as it slowly fades away into the distance after the other die. But then we hear a large beeping sound and it gets lounder and louder before I realize that's my phone and I wake up only to learn that Nick's train is running late. After that I couldn't fall back asleep. Sorry guys. Maybe someone could write a story or a decent ending.
~Until Then

Complicated Days

On Wednesday I worked at my church's state fair stand for about 10 hours with Nick for volunteer hours. It was so much fun! Talking to all the people that travel from state to state showing their prized bulls and horses. It really shows a bit of a life that few of us here have ever experienced. But one guy in particular really took interest in talking to me. I decided to dye my hair an insane red once again cause I was getting very sick of the blondeish color, well I forgot that my church makes us wear a visor/cap that is about 1 shade away from my hair color. I got a lot of comments on how I dyed my hair to match the state fair cap. Ugh. Not my intention. Oh well. But this guy found it so cool that he deicided to give me the nickname of Big Red. Yes like the gum. But the gum didn't have red hair shooting from the top now did it? Oh well but he was so funny about. He went on that I should make my own crayon color and other random crap. He just really made my long humid day.

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Well the day after the state fair, Nick took me with his parents to go look for a car for him. He ended up getting a 1994 red corsica. I don't like much except for the fact that the car is inside and out some shade of red. Yay!! But if it just gets him around this year, and to school, well then it's a car. He'll get a new one before he goes to college. So he suppost to pick it up sometime today. Well later that night we decided to go make s'mores at Gray's Lake in Des Moines. It's our favorite spot at night. If you ever been down there past sunset, do you know the lights on the bridge? Their different colors and it's just entrancing to look at them as the reflect off the water. Well we brought out bag of coals, s'more sticks, marshmellows, chocolate, grahms, and a lighter. After messing with the grill to get it open we put a hand full of coals in it and try to light it. But the damn lighter took 4 min. just to get a spark out of it. Then the coals woudln't light, so we tryed lighting the bag on fire. Obviously a bag of coals comes in a fire resistant bag. Duh! We then tried to light the coals in the bag see if they would catch. Apparently quick starting coals have an experation date. Who'd a thunk it?? So we decided to eat the smores cold. And of course the humid evening air had practically melted our chocolate. And of course to make matters worse, we chose the one night that an extremly obnoxious guy with an air horn decided to show up drunk with his buddies and he blew the damn thing every 5 minutes. Then surprise surprise, I got sick. What a wonderful day.
~Until Then

~School Schedule~
EB- U.S. History w/ Broderick
Uhm don't know anything about this teacher so yea...

1st- Alg. 2 Trig B w/ Cooley
Heard that I'll love him, so we'll have to see on that

2nd- Chemistry w/ Christansen
Once again, I don't know anything about this teacher

3rd- A Capella w/ Vanderpool
I love Mrs. Vanderpool. She's a wicked sweet teacher!

4th- Radio I w/ Mikels
Hrmm, I also love Mikels! But I can't take Radio II due to crappy schedule issues
B Lunch According to my schdule

5th- Early Brit Lit w/ Schebel
FREAKIN SWEET ASS TEACHER

6th- Creative Writing w/ Schebel
See previous statement

7th- German II w/ Marasco
Sadly this is her last year, bummer. She's a really nice German teacher.

8th- OFF PERIOD!!!

~Until Then

(From Left To Right) Top Row: William 26, Ben 25, Dad 54, Me 16 Middle Row: Alicia 11, Emily 29 Monica 7 Bottom Row: Courtney 10, Hunter 8. This is the first time that all 5 of us kids have been in the same place at the same time.

Well the time has come where all of you are squeezing in your last few hours of enjoyed sleep, hanging with friends until the wee hours of the morning, blasting up the music while your parents aren't home, taking the car without permission to pick up a friend so you can do something illegal again, (I mean come on, who doesn't do something illegal during the summer?), soaking up the last bit of the (unbearable) warmth of the sun. Soon it's back to waking up to the annoying blaring beep of our alarms and groggily walking down to the bathroom so that we can get ready for the day. Grabbing our 20 ton back packs and a quick bite to eat or for some of us a tall express or latte from Starbucks. We'll soon walk back down the halls of the school which we've all come to know and love hate. Sitting through pointless classes so that we can attempt to raise our GPA and get into the college of our choice as we doodle random shit on the sides of our notes and tests trying to pass time. Then going home only to do it all over again for the next 9 months. Prepare for the hardest year of our high school lives. (Okay here's the part where you can throw what ever you're munching on at your computer screens in an attempt to hit me for being insane and posting what no one wants to hear)
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In other news, for those of you who ever knew my dad's girl friend Dr. Haver, or more commonly known as Meat Loaf Lady, on account of she smells like overly-ripe meat loaf, well they are no longer together as a couple. Strange isn't it? My dad was with her for almost 6+ years. Since my parents have been divorced, I've just had to accept her as a part of my life. Granted yes I didn't like much and would voice my opinion often, I dealt with her and just stayed out of the way as much as possible when we were around each other. My dad knew I didn't like her, but that didn't stop him from dating her, although it did hinder what we did with her. So some of you might be thinking, "Shouldn't you be happy that they broke up? I mean you hated her!" Point taken, I'm am happyish that she's no longer around, but I'm also a bit sadish. "What? You're weird." She made my dad happy, so he was a lot less stressed when it came to work and teaching. He was happy. So it made me happy. And now that my dad isn't the person he used to be, it's a bit on the depressing side. His work is starting to pile up on him so he calls on me to do some of his paper work to lighten the load. So when he's stressed, I'm stressed. Are you starting to see a pattern? Love is a powerful thing.
I recently went to my older sister's wedding. (Yes I have older siblings from my dad's 1st marriage). My sister was married before to a jerk who treated her like crap and was just a miserable person to be around. I hated him when I stayed with my sister for a few days a couple of summers ago. I'd avoid him as long as possible. But she did have two wonderful kids which I love to death. So not even a year after she was divorced, she met Dave. I don't know much about him, except that he does something with computers. But my dad really likes him and obviously so does my sister. Well the wedding was held upstairs in an old Irish bar, but it was really nice and had that old fashion charm. It was a small wedding with just family and really close friends. Courtney and my new niece Monica were the flower girls and hunter was the ring bearer (sp?). My sister looked absolutely radiant! Her dress was very flattering and she looked happy. I've never seen my sister happy. I didn't recognize her when I ran into her at the hotel earlier. I was so happy for her! Just seeing the two of them together made my day. She was crying a little bit when Dave was saying his vows. I wish them the best of life and hope that each day is better than the last. They deserve each other. Love is a powerful thing.
Now as most of you know by now, I have my own significant other. His name is Nick and I met him at drivers ed last summer. We dated for a little bit in the beginning of last year, but then things went a little bit hay-wire on both our parts so we split and didn't talk for 6 months. Those 6 months damn neared killed me. But then in March we spoke again and started dating. And now I wouldn't go back for anything. We've been through so much together, the good and the bad. I've discovered new things about him and me. Just thinking about him makes me feel better. He's the sweetest guy and would do anything for me, and vice versa. And despite what other say, I love him. I truly, deeply, madly, passionately, and honestly love him. He's the single most amazing and wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. We've been dating for almost 5 months. They've been the most amazing 5 months of my life. Nick brings something out in me, something I can't write in words, something that no one that I've ever known or been with has ever brought out in me. It's the most beautiful thing on Earth. A few times with past boyfriends, I've swapped the ever lasting " I love you." I thought I loved them at that time. But it wasn't real now that I look back at it. I didn't know what love was until a few months ago in May. I was suddenly starting to realize how much I did love Nick. And now I do know what love truly is, but I can't explain it. No one can explain what love is to another person, they have to discover it for themselves. Love is a powerful thing.
~Until Then

Some Photo Love!

Every Pirate Is Caught Eventually

My Bestest Friend In The Whole World And My Amazingly Faded Hair

Screw Knights In Shining Armour

What Are You Looking At?

Ah The Womders Of The 16 Age Drinking Law

4th Time

Okay, this is the 4th damn time I've changed my skin and of course as always, something doesn't show up. Whether it be my posts of my links or whatever. I'm a bit tired of changing it a the moment, so I will deal with it most likely when I get back from my sisters wedding. So deal with it.
~Until Then

Hey guys, what's going on over there? Hope you haven't melted from the heat yet. Heard it was like 94 degrees there yesterday. Well it is warm over here, but not too bad. The really bad thing is that I can't understand 99% of what people say. It sucks. Well I hope you guys have a great July. Leave some love or socks okay?
~Until Then

Ich gehe zu Deutschland vor zwei wocken mit meine freundin Elena. Wir besuchin sie Groseltern in diese statd das ist im Osten Deutschland! I'm off to the great nation of Bratwurst and Beer. This will be one hell of a trip! I'm gonna have so much to say when I get back, my fingers might burn off or I'll just get frusterated, one of the two. Oh well, I'm sure you'll eventually hear about my trip. Have fun in Iowa!
~Until Then

4th of July Uproar!
Incase you've been living under a rock your entire life, yesterday was the glorious 4th of July. A day filled with the smell of BBQ and beer. A wonderful time for families to sit down with their children and remember why this great nation was established in the year of 1776. Freedom and liberty, justice and peace, for all. Well peace surely isn't one of those things that comes to mind for the Now 4th of July. You can't even go down to the corner drug store without hearing some sort of loud bang from a priavate pyro. But seeing the great lights right after dusk in some seculded spot out by Racoon River Park really then does give you some sense of peace as you lie back and let the colors entertain you for 30min or so. Then of course reality hits you when you try to get out of the parking lot at the exact same time as 500 other cars and some of the people are a bit "tipsy" and are being incredibly rude. But then it's off to some other parking lot down around 6th street to blow up random crap with M80's and 150's. Lighting the fuse quickly and then running as fast as you can so the metal shrapnel from the energy drink doesn't slice your ear off. This post is in memory of: 1 piggy bank, 4 element drink cans, 1 stuffed pig, 3 hot wheels cars, and 1 weird zipper keychain pet thingy. Oh and I would have added the Playdough on there, but, after 3 rounds of Bootleggers, 10 M 150's and 7 M 80's , 23 Bottle Rockets, and 4 Whistlers, the only change my green Playdough from Chuck E. Cheeses underwent was a smoky purple color, but other than that, it's perfectly fine. The only way to destroy playdough, is simply by eating. What good is this nation if you can't blow a piece of it up once a year?
~Until Then

Wow, 20 days without anything on here. Geesh, I'm lazy it's summer. Leave me alone. Summer has been fairly hectic with my 2 jobs. Transportation is a Bitch. Panera is easy enough to get to by walking, but my other job with Vector is in Urbandale by the Ice Arena, that's a bit further than Panera. But I like the job out there because I get to talk to people all day and sit down for my job! Yay for being a recruiter! My Germany trip is a week away and I'm soo excited. I mean 2 weeks in Germany with my bestfriend, no cares or worries in the world. Just the 2 of us doing whatever we want to! It's gonna be freakin amazing! But besides the good things from summer, I'm not sure that many of you heard of the car accident that I got into on the 10th on June, which means I can't get my full license until next June. Oh well, that's not that big of a loss. I was at Petsmart picking up 2 Parakeets, because Bobber "flew" away and so did the little Parakeet, and I pulled into this parking spot next to this car that was parked crooked in her spot and we were up against a wall, so I couldn't get out anyway else cept the way I came in, and when I pulled out (she was backed in) and I tore off the drivers side front flare and the wheel well, I damaged her flare, but it stayed on the car. The damage wasn't too bad, but the lady was a lady in her 20's so she was uber pissed. Gah! But the damage, like I said, only totalled about $1000 for both cars, my dad can put the new flare back on his car and so our premiums might not go up! Yay! But other than that, my summer has been fairly un-eventful.
~Until Then

Okay so yes an overly long due post is needed. So the Chicago trip was simply fantastic and amazing. You should have been there, you would have LOVED IT! But Wicked, wow, that musical was simply beyond my vocabulary of adjactives and nouns. Wicked was very well written, yes the cast could have been better, but it wasn't the broadway cast. I loved it anyways. I'm listening to the soundtrack now as I write this. Hahahah. But yea so summer has started and I can't wait for July until I leave. I refuse to let this summer be as boring as the last, I mean waking up at 6am every day for 5 weeks to go to drivers ed at VSW? That sucked. Big time. Already I've had an amazing time in a water fight and I can't wait till next Friday for the Comedy XP's 3rd b-day show! And working will be amazing, I love working and seeing people and making drinks and selling pasteries and breads. And of course that wonderful pay check every 2 weeks. Hrm. Another year down and 2 more to go for us at VHS. Next year can make or break us. I'm not exactly looking forward to it. But that's later. No I'm not going to go through and make a list of all the things that happened at VHS this year and to me. It's pointless, if you really want to know just review the last 10 months or so. But I'm looking forward to this summer, and nothing will stop me from achieving that goal. Oh yea if you guys want to hang out sometime, I have a vehicle of transportation for 10 days starting this Saturday the 10th. My daddy leaves for England with Meatload lady and he is giving me the lovely Salsa Red Jeep! Yay Happiness! Call me, y'all know the number.
~Until Then

Hahah I found away around the schools stupid internet cookies thing. GO ME! *takes time to dance* yea so okay I'm not in 3D art right now, there's nothing to do now that I'm done with all of my projects. But yea, I've practically lived in this library for the week working on projects. My bio desert project, my choir sight reading project, my german Auschwitz project, and then my STC women of music project. Ugh it sucks. I've never had this many projects, it's sad. No really, it is. You should cry for me. Oh well. Hmmm. I've checked out of all of my classes, I mean we're not doing anything right? Right! I mean today in math, I've heard that we're gonna color, and I have to take that final, but I'm just gonna B.S. the thing and take a C in the class. Oh well, I'll just take an A.P. class. Hrrrmmm. Choir is retarded now that all the auditions are over with and the only choir left to be posted is Show Choir, I didn't even try out so yea I'm done. Drama is done with basically and German is to. Yeeeaaack. So where was I, sorry I spaced off. Working is pretty fun. I hate the cash register, it's sooo confusing and hectic. Soo many buttons and screens. But I like making drinks, you should come in and I'll make you a Carmel Latte or an I.C. mocha. Yummy! Okay so this is the end of my rant, blah blah blah back to boredom.

~Until Then

Yea totally just got back from dyeing my hair. It's Pimpin Purple (thank you pink haired lady) Candy Pink, Blue Haired Freak and some random red color. I love it. She bleached it and part of my red hair wouldn't come out, sad I know. The world weeped silently for a moment. My hair is totally kick ass and I want to marry it (well no not really). Hahaha I totally rule. Totally.

~Until Then

I'm sooo confused! Which one is Espresso?

*RANDOM MIND RAMBLINGS* Please don't blame me if you can't follow it.
Okay so this is my first post after my birthday. Yea it's pretty sweet being 16, pretty kick ass birthday (no I don't have a car *tear*) but I mean I wasn't expecting one anyways so it doesn't matter. Yea, I mean I have an ass load of responsibilites now that I have a job at Panera's - You should all buy bagels and have yummy soup and stop in when I'm working so that you can laugh at me in my funny hat and apron- but I like it. It gives me a sense of firm placing on the ground and that I'm actually doing something with my life. I like it. School is alright, starting to slow down because I'm losing interest in most of my classes. I mean choir is only left with auditions and 6 out of the 15 STC girls didn't make it into A Capella and they all kick ass at what they do and STC'ers are usually shoe-ins for A Cap. It's ridiculous. The big thing left for me is Valley Singers and then Show Choir. For those of you who have heard and listened to me as I bitch about my mother, I went and visited her on my birthday. It wasn't a pleasent visit and I now refuse to call her mom or w.e. because I feel like she hasn't been a mother type figure to me in the past 6 years ever since my parents divorced. Wow it has almost been 6 years, geez. Sorry. But sadly I've stopped knowing what I want in life and in myself lately. I just kind of exist at school and busy my mind with my projects and technical settings. When I'm at home, I space off and just do what ever until I have to fall asleep and start it all over again the next day. My cats are basically the only campanions I have at home. Oh well, I like my dad, but I like it when he's out of the house. I think I just need something new, yea I have a job and I'm 16, sweet and all, don't get me wrong, but it's not exactly what I was looking for. Maybe something will happen soon, I hope. My relation with Nick, well to be frank, isn't that great. (Yay for bitching about my relations) I mean it's the second time that we've dated and I guess I don't feel anything for him like I used to. Sure I play the girl friend and yea it's hard to ignore the fact that this guy would get me the moon if I asked for it. He's sweet and funny, but I just don't have the "fascination" that I did 8 months ago when I first started really liking him. I think I just need to take some time and sort that out, but not be around him. Ugh. I don't know anymore. I just can't wait for my trip with Elena in July. She's my best friend and I love her to death and it's just gonna be the 2 of us for 2 weeks basically by ourselves our in Germany. Both of us have no idea what we're gonna find out there, but we can't wait. The only thing I really have right now is my art. But I get so frusterated that I just don't have the time to devote my full attention to it so that it can turn out amazing, they keep breaking or lose their meaning. If you ever got a hold of my sketch book, you'd see what the meaning behind my pieces really are. That sketch book is like my journal, but with pictures to go with it. Yay for picture books. Maybe I should write more poetry, I haven't done that in a while, hmmm.
~Until Then

Rain Rain Go Away Come Again Another Day

Yay for new skin! I like this one a lot!!! With the exception of the crappy weather, this weekend has been pretty kick ass. I sat at home and caught up on my sleep and watched the Blues Brothers but the major thing of my weekend was that I got a job! Yes an actual pay check job that has nothing to do with my mother! I work at Panera Bread on 42nd street near Valley and my house! Can you say "yummy bagels?" ....I'm serious can you say it? ..... There you go! I knew you could do it. If I could give you a certificate of amazing bagel speaking skills, I would, but unfortunantly for you I don't have a working printer so too bad. All that hard work for nothing. But another thing about this weekend is that I discovered a new passion that I have, Synchronized Swimming. On Thursday I was asked to run the spot light for the Tigerlillies and thought that I would just bring a book or some homework when there was down time. I was wrong! Besides from the 90 degree humidity, the shows were amazing! The theme was Rock This Town and all the songs that they performed to were oldies Rock Songs. Amazing! I'm sooo going out for it next year. It's basically theatre in the water and it is so beautiful to watch. Oh yea, my new obsession is CASCADA! Yea Techno!!
~Until Then

Hooplah!

Hoop...hoop...hooplah!

hey everybody!

i finally remebered blogger-again...

life has been crazy...
most of us are in the play & know what i mean-
my knees are in pain...


~madi

Happy Easter Everyone! So we're a week out from the play and all the pieces are finally starting to fall together. The lights are all set and look amazing! The actual set is pretty kick ass if you've actually been to rehersal at all last week. Yea I'm not exactly fond of the play this year and I've put more effort into the damn tech side than I have the production side. Oh well. And a good majority of you that actually read this probably can't wait till Monday for the Good/ Bad news about Improv. I mean yea Improv is the most frickin amazing thing ever but Hansen is being a but and wants like 24 people in the damn group, I mean look what happened last year, we can't have that. It'll ruin everything! Oh well, not much we can do about it, but atleast Joe is on our side for the matter and not Hansen's. Well I hope you have a pretty cool, drizzly, Easter!
~Until Then

Okay this is my poster design for Technical Theatre. I worked for about 2 hours on this things and I'm really proud of it. I took the picture my self! It's not a googled thing. You can even ask Amanda. It's her doll that I had to borrow and it looks great!! I'm so flippin happy with it!!!

~Until Then